Advice needed-sex education for primary school aged children

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

i am being asked questions by mine and want to answer truthfully but i am obv.mindful of age here
any tips gratefully received

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

bump

[Littlefish]

What questions are you being asked? How old are your children?

My dd is 4. I answer any questions she asks me in a truthful manner using the sort of vocabulary I think she'll understand. However, I don't go any further than the question she's asked.

[Marne]

Dd1 (5) has just started asking 'how do babby's come out of your tummy?' i had to tell her the truth as i cant lye .

My mum always says 'if they are old enough to ask, they are old enough to know'.

[solidgoldshaggingbunnies]

They probably don't really need to know about buttplugs or bondage equipment at this age...

[LadyMuck]

I also wouldn't worry about giving too much information. If they're not ready/interested they're likely to forget anyway.

Bear in mind this is the age when they will listen to you. Best to say what you want to know because when they are 13 they will know far more about sex than you. In fact they will know more about everything than you .

[LadyMuck]

Crosspost with solidgold. You don't want your child to be the one in the playground discussing buttplugs. But standard reproduction will end up being discussed, so you may as well make sure that your children have their facts straight.

[Remotew]

DD asked the questions at aged 5. Her dads gf had had a baby and I told her that the dad plants a seed inside the mum which grows into a baby which is born 9 months later via a special place etc. She wanted to know how the seed got in there so I told her. She laughed her head off and commented that it was soooo rude.

That was it really the questions stopped. I did tell her not to discuss it with other children and that when they all start discussing it she can boast that she's known it since 5.

[lou33]

my girls have always refused to talk with me about it too much out of sheer embarrassment, especially when they had the lessons in school

ds1 and 2 are still at the age where saying nipples or testicles reduce them to fits of laughter

however if they ask i do answer honestly, i just temper it with the age appropriate language

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

thanks all so much for posting
it's actually dd aged 7 more than my boys here
she's obsessed with sex and boys and talks about them non stop
the latest was about blow jobs
not exactly what you want to hear from a young child and obv.i'm concerned that other people will hear her as well
oh and solid cheers as always

[Littlefish]

Where is your daughter hearing about blowjobs? It think this would concern me. I don't think it's appropriate for a 7 year old to be hearing about, or talking about blow jobs.

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

no i totally agree
and despite being willing to always talk honestly and openly with my dc i don't think that blow jobs should be part of the agenda

[Littlefish]

Do you have older dc as well? Is this where she's hearing about things like blow jobs or has it come from school?

If it's from school, then I think you need to talk to her teacher about it.

If it's from home, then your older dc (if you have them), need to be spoken to about the appropriatness (sp) of their discussions in front of younger siblings.

I think you are right to be concerned about what others may think if they heard your dd discussing blow jobs etc. I would be very concerned as a teacher, that a child this age might be hearing (or seeing) things which were age-inappropropriate.

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

oh def not heard from her brothers
they just tend to talk about the usual silly things that little boys do but obv.know when to stop and do so
it is something heard at school for sure but not entirely sure whether it's from older children or god forbid a fellow yr2 child
what exactly could the teachers do here as such?

[Littlefish]

The teachers need to be alerted because if it's coming from another year 2 child, then that would ring real alarm bells with me that that child (ie. the one saying it origanlly) had heard or seen things they shouldn't have IYSWIM.

It may be a child they are already aware of, or it may add another piece to a jigsaw they are concerned about.

They may speak to your dd alone about it to start with, or they may speak to the whole class about things which are appropriate to discuss and things which aren't.

Either way, I would make an appointment to see the teacher after the holidays.

Has your dd told you where she heard it?

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

No i am unable to find out who it is who is saying these things and i am trying not to make a big deal out of it iyswim
but i think that i will have to go into school and speak to her teacher
thanks so much for your thoughts on this,it's handy to get another mum's pov
it's a very sensitive subject and one that needs to be approached in the right way

[Littlefish]

I think you're absolutely right not to make a big deal about it. And you're right that it needs to be approached sensitively. You sould like a very sensible and caring mummy.

I hope things go well with the teacher.

[itchyandscratchy]

I had a simialr thing last year when dd1 was in Y1. Came home and told me two girls in her class had been 'telling lies' and horrible rude things. Turns out they were talking about sucking the wee out of boys' willies . When I posted about it, another poster alerted me to the fact that one or both of these girls may have been exposed to porn or, worst case scenario, abuse, talking like this.

I went into school, told the class teacher and it was dealt with from there, which means they probably alerted the child protection person and logged it as a point to monitor.

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

thanks littlefish
will post on here once i've seen the yr2 teacher
itchy thanks also for posting
it's truly terrible to think that there might be something more sinister to this than just typical childish rude talk

[itchyandscratchy]

well it probably isn't anything sinister, tbh, but children talking about sexual things that are not 'age appropriate' is one of the things teachers are asked to look out for and report if necessary.

Chances are they kids have seen or heard something accidentally and don't even know what it means. Imo, 'blow job' is one of those phrases that is bandied about as kids grow up and they usually end up asking what the hell it means when they're 15 or 16 after having used it for 6 or 7 years!

[solidgoldshaggingbunnies]

It's mostly a matter of children with older siblings having overheard a conversation and/or read or viewed something that isn't really suitable for them (and I don't mean hardcore porn, blow jobs get mentioned in ordinary women's mags.) Still, it's always worth mentioning, because a sensible teacher will keep an eye on the child for any other signs of potential problems.

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

i've def ruled out older brother here and she doesn't have access to any of my women's mags and tv is monitored by me!
will no doubt be wiser once they go back to school and i can raise it with her teacher

[Jockette]

Hi, I am after some advice as I have a meeting coming up with my childs primary school this month. I am concerned about the sex education and innapropriate use of naming intimate body parts at age 5. I have since removed my child from being involved in further sex ed lessons, but how can I show the school that I think 5, 6 and 7 is way to young for the kids to be learning information they don't need to be aware of at that age.

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Jockette, I think you need to make a seperate thread for your own points. I don't think you'll meet with many people supporting you though.
TBH, I wasn't aware that children of that age are given sex ed lessons at school, BUT I don't live in England.