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Leaving to cry???

(16 Posts)
sammielou Tue 05-Apr-05 14:55:23

Having said I'd never let a baby sleep in my bed. For a quiet life my husband and I r now sharing our bed with our 9 month old son. He falls asleep whilst having his milk at about 7ish and providing he is placed in our bed will sleep soundly til 7ish the following morning. f we even attempt to put him in his cot all hell breaks loose!!

We didnt mind at first but now would like our bed back!!

Has anybody done controlled crying or anything similar and how long does it take and did baby take a dislike to u afterwards??


MrsMedders Tue 05-Apr-05 15:01:20

We did that 3mins controlled crying (off the TV, Little Angels or Supernanny, I think), then go in, don't make eye contact, speak soothingly then wait another 3mins etc etc. It took 2 nights before DS slept soundly through on his own.
It isn't nice at first, but did seem to work.

TracyK Tue 05-Apr-05 15:01:25

Where does he nap during the day?

sammielou Tue 05-Apr-05 15:02:46

In our bed!

TracyK Tue 05-Apr-05 15:04:18

Try putting him into his cot during the day for his naps. Its easier to deal with them if they cry/fight it during the daylight hours.
or you could try his cot next to your bed with the side down - so not too big a change, then move cot through to his own room when he's made the first change?

Pinotmum Tue 05-Apr-05 15:08:47

Sammielou - you are me 2 years ago. Ds only went from our bed to his own bed in the end as 18 months old. DH had moved to the spare room by then. Ds hated his cot with a passion. I am not convinced by controlled crying so could never carry it out. I hope you find a solution that works for you He now sleeps fine in his own room and dh and I are back in the same bed. However, ds never snored

sammielou Tue 05-Apr-05 15:13:52

Im not convinced about controlled crying either and am dreading doin it. But would like to have a brother or sister for my ds one day and this wont happen whilst he is sleeping between us!!

skerriesmum Tue 05-Apr-05 15:14:31

Pinotmum we're in the same situation, I just can't do controlled crying. When you first put him in a bed, did he not keep coming back in to sleep with you? My ds (2)does this, he's been in a bed for about six months now but still wants to be in bed with me. What age was yours when he slept all night on his own?

Pinotmum Tue 05-Apr-05 16:34:47

What we did was go on holiday when everythings different anyway and then put him straght in his own bed when we returned. We only had the odd night where he would cry out but then he began to settle himself. In fact I now see I made work for myself because I kept the baby monitor on and would wake up and go to him and he'd be asleep. I then realised I should just leave him. We turned the monitor off for good a couple of months later and all has been fine. The odd night here and there where he hs a wander but I carry him straight back to his bed and he goes back to sleep. In fact it's dd who is 4.6 yo who now tries to get into our bed but I put her straight back too. He was 20 months when we did this so big enough I think .

huggybear Tue 05-Apr-05 16:36:46

we made the same mistake. ds1 only went into his own bed at 20 months and still doesnt sleep through! he wakes up 2 or 3 times in the night and demands that me or dh get into his bed - anything for some peace and quiet. Am going to start a star chart thingy soon

Pinotmum Tue 05-Apr-05 16:40:14

Charts worked for my dd definitely.

Cristina7 Tue 05-Apr-05 16:47:29

You might find some ideas in "The no-cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. As the title implies, a no-cry approach for sleeping through the night, but also has ideas on moving the baby into his own cot. Our DS (now 5) slept in our bed for some of the night, usually beginning and end, until his sister arrived 1 month ago. Now she sleeps in our bed.

sammielou Tue 05-Apr-05 16:57:16

What r star charts?

Sponge Tue 05-Apr-05 17:17:32

He's too young for a star chart - awarding stars for good behaviour - usually working towrads a treat of some sort.
We had this problem with dd at 9 months. We did cc but kept her cot in our room. She did scream (and scream) for a couple of nights but then was OK. Moving her into her own room once she was used to the cot was fine, no problems.
We did have trouble when we moved her to a bed at 2 though. She did keep coming to our room and we had to keep taking her back and eventually shutting her in to cry for a bit. I would recommend leaving him in a cot until older than 2 if possible - I think we moved her to a bed too young.
She's now 5, sleeps in her own bed in her own room and hardly ever wakes us up, but now of course we have 8 month old ds to disrupt our sleep .

KarenThirl Wed 06-Apr-05 08:15:58

Controlled crying does work, but it's more effective if you do it while your child is still a baby and they haven't yet developed bad habits. Our ds was sleep trained at three and a half months and we've never looked back. Basically, babies need to learn that it's safe to fall asleep in their own beds because if they wake in the night they can get scared and not want to go back to sleep, because that's not their usual environment for going to sleep. It's far easier to cope with a baby's crying (ie their only means of communication) than with a two or three year old screaming "Please mummy, don't leave me". Most people say that it only takes two or three nights for it to work (three for us, IIRC) and I believe it's worth it in the longrun to get a bit of sanity and privacy back into your life.

noddyholder Wed 06-Apr-05 08:22:52

my ds is 10 now so it is a while ago but we did controlled crying at a very late stage (11months)and it was horrendous for 2 nights and then he slept through and we never looked back.worth a try

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