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Help how do i stop my 4 yr old to stop hitting us???

(5 Posts)
donnacb Sat 27-Dec-08 20:59:54

My normal healthy beautiful boy has suddenley turned into the devil. For the last few weeks he seems to be getting angry and frustrated at everything and lashing out by hitting or kicking (but only family, me my husband or his 19 month old sister). He is nice and even timid around other children letting them take his toys that hes been playing with.

Weve tried the nice approach telling him its not nice and hurts and please dont do it. Weve tried the naughty step and now we are taking a toy away for every time he hits us and giving him it back if he does something nice for someone else BUT!!!!!! nothing seems to work.

Im at the end of my tether and starting to feel and get angry with him which is not the aanswer.

If anyone has any advice please let me know. Is there a miracle cure to get my beautiful boy back. i hate all the conflict but hitting is not acceptable.

Thanks donna

Frizbe Sat 27-Dec-08 21:03:11

Have you tried rewards for good behaviour, emphasis on the good behaviour and less on the bad? bit of reverse psychology can sometime throw them, if he goes a whole morning without hitting, marvelous, reward of somekind.

donnacb Sat 27-Dec-08 21:09:00

Hi tried that when potting training worked quite well but havent tried it for this. Could definately try. We always praise him for nice behaviour and he gets his toy back but sounds like a much nicer way of dealing with it.


moosemama Sat 27-Dec-08 21:13:19

Sorry too tired at the mo (39 wks pregnant) to give a long answer, but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

Boys experience a testosterone surge at around 4-5 years old and can literally turn from little angels to little devils for a while for no apparent reason. Its perfectly normal and does pass. It is hard work but consistency is the key. We found reward charts worked well with both our boys, making sure there were plenty of regular little rewards interspersed with some whopping great ones when they have been extra well behaved.

I'm not saying this is definitely what is happening with your little one, but if you really can't think of anything that has changed in his life to cause this behaviour its worth considering.

The book 'Raising Boys' is a good source of info about this.


donnacb Sat 27-Dec-08 21:26:43

Thanks glad to know were not alone. will try reward chart and see if i can take the book out of the library.

Thanks for replying and good luck with your new to be little one dxx

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