Toddler tantrums, how do I deal with them?

[Sushipaws]

Okay, I need help. DD is 18mo and has just started the tantrum phase. My Mum says I should ignore it, easy at home but not when we're out and about. They're not just about big things either, the slightest thing will set her off. She had some banana bread at lunch time and spent the afternoon bouncing off the walls, I think it must've been the sugar.

When I ask her to do something she shouts "NO" and stamps her feet. It's actually almost funny but I feel like I shouldn't laugh at her.

I had PND after she was born and I found she would react to my temper, so I am now very carefull and keep a cool head when she's acting up. I don't know if she's trying to push me, I just think she's too young to be manipulative.

Help, I really need advice.

[Wendyjayb]

Distraction always works for me. Mt ds is 3 in Nov and has some stonking tantrams started by the silliest of things. The one that works for me is "is that a worm in your ear". He stops straight away and wants to know what the worms doing in his ear
If that doesn't work then i ignore him. If we're out and people stare then i think there the "perfect" ones who don;t live in the real world anyway..ha ha xx

[BibiThree]

Pretend it's just not happening. Carry on as normal, talk to her normally, about anything and everything - something WILL get her attention eventually. Be your nice, usual mummy self (or even better, a very boring version of) and she will get the message that tantrums don't get her anything except bland Mummy.

Easier said than done, I know, been there, felt your despair, but there IS light at the end of the tunnel. Best of luck.

[Sushipaws]

Thanks, it's nice to know I'm not on my own.

I do ignore them at home and she stops pretty quickly.

[Jacksmybaby]

I got told off this morning by a random stranger in the shopping centre... DS (21mths) was lying on the ground kicking and screaming, having been on the little merry-go-round ride thingy, and not wanting to come off, and I was ignoring him (or pretending to anyway, obviously I was standing right there and making sure he wasn't about to hurt himself etc!) and random stranger had a go at me! Not easy to ignore tantrums in public places. But the best advice I heard recently was, just think that all those people who are looking at you disapprovingly were toddlers once too and they all threw tantrums!

[exasperatedmummy]

Jacksmybaby, i would have told them to fuck right off!! Thing is though, i always find myself staring at the tantruming child, not out of disgust, but out of empathy for the parents.

I don't know about the manipulative thing. My DD is fairly untantrumy with me, because i wont raise to it, but the minute my over indulgent, jump to her command DP comes home, she is whiney and tantrumy, she certainly knows how to play her parents and she is only three.

[Missytrouble]

I wonder what goes on in their little heads!
Dd had a meltdown this morning. I was making her usual breakfast, porridge. She announced she didn't want it, she wanted sweets instead! I ignored her, carried on as usual. All the while she was laid on the floor, shouting and crying.

I asked her to please sit at the table and was she ok? She replied yes of course, sat down and ate every bit of her porridge!

I know it's not easy to ignore the tantrums but dd does seem to calm more quickly if I do.