Have posted this again, re. ds1 running away as first message hasn't posted right...

[geraldinetheluckygoat]

I have posted this already but it keeps linking to another thread! Dunno what I did but I'll try again...
After a breif period of calm with the kids, their new trick is for DS2 to do the arched back stiff body full on screaming tantrum whenever I try to get him in car seat/buggy. This I can handle, I just manhandle him in and get straps done up. BUT, ds2 has taken to running in opposite direction while this is happening, in town today, while I was trying to get ds2 in buggy in a cafe (which took a couple of minutes), ds1 had legged it up stairs, out into shopping centre. I had family with me so was able to abandon buggy and go after ds1, who all the time was laughing manically and was just out of control . I shouted really loudly at him to stop, but this of course just drove him on!! Once I got him, I made him sit in buggy, but had to fight to get him in, and the whole situation was embarassing and i felt like i dealt with it craply.
When we got home, he ran off right down the street as i was opening the front door. He loves the chase, other bad behavour, i try to just ignore, or put him in his room to calm down if he is really ridiculous, but cant really ignore this as he could get lost /go somewhere unsafe. Anyone have any advice for me?

[christywhisty]

get a wrist strap!

[BoysAreLikeRabidDogs]

Yes strap

Ds will not like it, but better to be safe than sorry.

Also, depending on age, you can plan trips out, but the moment that he starts to run, you do retrieval and return home.

Good luck.

[nooOOOoonki]

How old?

[hecAteTheirBrains]

agree wrist straps. some people go on about them not looking nice etc, but ime, they are a lot bloody better than the child running down the road and possibly getting hit by a car! I used them with mine because they were both runners!

Safety first. so strap on while you are sorting yourself out, to secure them. off again when all is safe.

[RaggedRobin]

have you seen these?

they are like little rucksacks for toddlers, but they have reins attached - more subtle than other kinds of reins if your toddler objects to those.

[BananaFruitBat]

The backpacks are great. DS still uses his. Obviously without the reins now! I found it easy to just clip the strap on to the hook and quite often DS didn't even realise I'd done it - that saved a lot of 'paddies'.

[MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo]

Ah yes, my wrist strap worked quite quickly. I only used it a few times.

[geraldinetheluckygoat]

Sorry for delaye response, had a rarenight out yesterday WOOHOO!
So wrist strap you rekon? I do have a double buggy, but it is a phil and teds, and when he did this, I had to strap him in the underneath seat, he fought so much that me and my mum had to BOTH wrestle him in, I think i would be unable to manage strapping him in on his own without tipping the buggy. I think this is the thing, when this happens, I get quite flustered and shouty, and feel a bit out of control. I find it embarassing a bit.

Once I got him in the buggy yesterday, I made him sit in it till we had walked home, then he legged it again as soon as I let him out to get in the house. I think with a wrist strap this wouldn't happen.

So those with wrist strap experience, did you use it as a deterrent, ie, "if you run, the strap goes on"? How long did you make them wear it? What did you do if they flipped out when you put it on and got tangled round your legs like rabid dog?

[geraldinetheluckygoat]

I like the rucksack, but think he would be able to escape from one, houdini style.
He's three and a half, by the way.

[BoysAreLikeRabidDogs]

At first use the strap with no discussion, to accustom him to walking without trying to run.

Nifty footwork might be needed at some point

A bit further down the line you can use the strap as a threat, but of course you must follow through.

Good luck

(how's the cake making ?)

[MadamAnt]

Great thread - I have exactly the same problem. I could have written your OP word for word about my 3.9 yr old DD and 2 yo DS. I can't use a wrist strap as DD has a v easily dislocated elbow, but I do still use reins if we're going through a partic bad spell.

[MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo]

Haed to put the strap on a few times then used it as a deterrent. It worked a treat.

[geraldinetheluckygoat]

God, sorry youre going through it too, madamant, but so GLAD you are too, iykwim! Its always comforting to know my kids aren't the naughtiest in the country!! Hopefully they will all grow out of it soon

BOYS will use that tactic, will be Uber Tantrum the first time. Will try to stand serenely and stare into middle distance, while avoiding eye contact, in style of super calm yogamummy.

Cake making is going really well, thanks! I have an upsydaisy cake to make at the end of the month for my neice! I just had a card from the recipient of a Bob Dylan cake who said he was so pleased with it, that he almost cried (it was his 60th), so that was really sweet and made me smile for a few days!! Still a bit shit at the actual baking part, but getting there

[BoysAreLikeRabidDogs]

[luckylady74]

When ds1 ran across the road he was 3 and I put the strap on his wrist the next time we went out and it didn't come off outside for 2 weeks - then it was step by step with lots of praise.
Re the getting in the buggy - just do not be swayed, countdown to when he's going in and then in they go - I have used a knee in desperate circumstances!
I hate the public spectacle thing too - head down, don't look up, CALM voice and then you're not adding to the drama.
My deepest sympathy - my 3 have run in 3 different directions before now and despite my advice I found myself shouting 'There will be no spiderman ever again if you don't come back now' - so blackmail appears to be my last rfesort!

[geraldinetheluckygoat]

LOL at "no spiderman ever again!" I know what you mean, blackmail is my main parenting tool...!
Am definitely going to try not to run after him shouting like a fishwife next time. Will be armed with wrist strap, and will stay calm...