Need some reassurance please!!

[AddictedtoCrunchies]

My ds is seven months and two weeks old and I'm feeling a bit worried by stuff I'm reading in magazines and on the internet about how he should be developing. I'm desperately trying not to compare him with others but I'm now worried that he's not developing properly and that I'm not giving him the right food etc.

He was 10lb 6oz born and when I last had him weighed (about three weeks ago) he was 21lb so there's no problem with his growth!! He can sit up by himself and move around the floor doing a sort of belly shuffle. He's not crawling but can push himself up onto his hands and knees.

He goes to bed around 6.30 and, with a dream feed of 6oz at 10.30, will generally sleep through to 5.30-6am. He eats all different veg mushed up (I am the world's worst puree-er so he eats it lumps-an-all), and I'm just starting to try him on chicken and fish (although he's not keen).

I think he's doing really well but I read in Mother and Baby that he should be able to feed himself a cracker. So last night I sat him in his highchair and gave him a selection of finger food (half a rusk, some cheese, some cucumber and a little bit of ham. Ha can pick it up and put it in his mouth but can't chew it (he's only got two teeth after all!!) so then he just got frustrated and screamed the place down.

Once we calmed him down, he ate 1.5 rusks (mushed up with formula) and a fromage frais as normal.

I also worry that a friend's baby is crawling and she's three weeks older than him.

Please tell me I'm just a daft paranoid mother and that he's perfectly fine for a seven month old baby.

[Tortington]

you are a daft paranoid mother - do yourself a favour and stop reading this shit

all children develop differently - and dont compare bos and girls becuase generally girls are quicker at this kind of stuff anyway.

i have three children and each of them was very different
my first could walk at ten months - a boy

and my girl didn't walk til 13 months - her twin brother was walking at 12 months.

yet when it came to toilet training, my girl was quickest and v. good

all kids are different

dont read the mags - dont buy the books.

[cory]

Custardo's already done it, so I don't need to. We've all been there with our first babies. It's part of our natural development as mothers.

He sounds like he's doing brilliantly. Certainly a lot better than mine were at that age and they've growing up into (more or less) civilised people.

[AddictedtoCrunchies]

Thank you thank you so much. I'm trying to get everything right but there are so many people out there who try to tell you that you're doing it worng.

Blinkin' HV is the worst culprit. She said to me last week 'baby shouldn't be feeding in the night'.

1. His name isn't 'baby' it's Ben.
2. If he wants to feed in the night then who am I to stop him? I'm sure he's not just waking up for the craic!
3. If giving him a dream feed at 10.30 means he'll sleep all night then game on.

He's a beautiful happy little boy who makes my heart melt but he's my first one so it's hard not to worry.

Thank you again.

[GooseyLoosey]

He sounds spot on to me and you already know you are being paranoid, but we have all been there.

I actually didn't know I was supposed to let mine have finger food at this age so none made an appearance until about 1. They don't seem to have come to any harm. My son never crawled - just went from sitting to walking and 7 months is the earliest most babies crawl IME.

[Tortington]

my kids are teenagers now, and darling, if i can impart one piece of knowledge it would be this.

DO whats good for you - and everyone else can sod off!!

if the HV is getting on yout tits -either ask for another one or tell her you don't want her comng round anymore.

whatever gets you through the day darling - honestly. i can't stress that enough.

[AddictedtoCrunchies]

Custardo - please come and live with me!!

I thought I was doing so well until I read about the crackers but now I think balls to the lot of them. He's my boy and he's thriving.

[Tortington]

fuck 'em

be out when HV calls

[idontbelieveit]

My dd didn't sleep through until the last month or so (she's 27 months!). your HV is talking crap. Half of 2 year olds don't sleep through the night so to expect a 7 month old to is just ridiculous (although I'm sure some do). You are doing brilliantly, i would tell your HV you don't need to see her anymore. It's not compulsory and you know where she is if you need her.

[cocolepew]

"He's a beautiful happy little boy" read that back instead of Mother and Baby crap. Each child is different,they don't have to be doing something by a certain age, it's not the law.

[wannaBe]

all these "your child should be doing xyz at this age and at that age" books are the work of the devil.

But hindsight is a wonderful thing, and in some respects we've all been there.

My ds didn't truely feed himself until he was about 18 months old - he had some finger food before then and was trying from about 10 mo but seriously he had a big appetite and couldn't shovel it in fast enough so it was easier for me to feed him. He had the extra spoon from about a year old so try and feed him but I just fed him while he tried otherwise he wouldn't have got anything. Your ds will let you know when he's ready to do it for himself, as long as the opportunity is there for him to try just keep doing what you're doing and he will get it for himself eventually.

My ds crawled at 7 months but didn't sit up independently until he was 10 months, even though he was pulling up on furniture/starting to cruise by then.

As for dream feed - I stopped my ds' 10:30 bottle at about 5 months to see if he could sleep through and he did, but if he hadn't I would have continued it - whatever makes for an easier life and a better night's sleep.

And if the hv doesn't approve of your methods then don't tell her. If she asks how he sleeps then say "oh yes, he sleeps fantastically" that's all she needs to know.

And throw away the books.

[Anchovy]

I remember my mum saying to me that they all start school at 5 and you can neither remember nor tell which one of them walked early or when they got their teeth or who is only just out of nappies. And she is absolutely right.

My youngest is 4 and I really can't remember when she started with finger food (although we do remember that one of the first things she ate was "cat cheerios").

This is all about building your own confidence, not what your baby should and shouldn't be doing. And you sound like you are doing really well, much better than I was!

Read the books, by all means, but keep them in perspective. And ask on here - there is a wealth of real information which is much more useful.

[AddictedtoCrunchies]

I'm walking around with my chest puffed out with pride now thanks to all your positive comments!!
I am a great mum and this site rocks.

[Sycamoretree]

Screw the HV - your' DS sounds just perfect for his 7 months. My DS is 1 and only just starting efficently finger feeding about a month ago. Let me do you a little comparison between my dd and ds to put your mind at rest.

DD - Born on 97 centile - stayed there 1 year.
DD - Born 99 centile - dropped to 50th within first month and stayed there ever since.
DD crawled on tummy at 5.5 months.
DS crawled on tummy at 8 month.
DD Sat at 7 months.
DS Sat at nearly 9 months.
DD had 9 teeth by 9 months.
DS still only has two at one year!
DD Walked at 13 months
DS Just started crusing around at 12 months.

So you see - it's all bollocks. He's fine, your fine - make your own path.

[sasamax]

Half the time the HVs all contradict each other (and themselves) anyway!

[makemineaginandtonic]

ooooh, HVs, don't get me started

[AddictedtoCrunchies]

Went to Mother & Baby class yesterday (for want of anything better to do and they have nice biscuits) and my own HV told me that he was doing really well as he sat up nice and strong.
So the other HV who told me he was behind cos he was still feeding in the night can bog off. He sat on the mat giggling and smiling at everyone, didn't cry once and ate all his dinner.
My own HV has been brilliant - very supportive but it's all the others that don't know you that have to pile in with their opinions.

I know they're only doing their job but it's only in the last couple of weeks that I've felt I can even vaguely cope with being a mum! No one can quite prepare you can they?

A good friend is coming round this morning and she's 39 weeks pregnant. So i'm going to try (without scaring her half to death!)

[jeanjeannie]

Oh lordy HVs - *rolls eyes and sighs.

My 3.5 mth DD2 is exc BF and on 75th centile so HV said I must start feeding her solids as she's probably hungry by now Where do they dig these people up from?

And, as for the internet - WHAH! I've only just weaned myself off getting paranoid over development threads or sites that tell you what you're LO should be doing.

My DD1 didn't even walk until 19mths - went everywhere (quickly) on her knees! Points only occasionally - which scared me, as I was convinced that meant something was dreadfully wrong and, now she's 22 mths, she's only just started to say a few (very few) words.

So - I've decided to be 'chilled out' mum and unless I really sense something's not right I'm going to go with the flow. Bring on the potty training - my mum said I was well into being 3 before I understood what a toilet was for.....and look at me now...