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anyone have the 'you are not my friend!' thing going on?? I'm demented......

(9 Posts)
nellieloula Fri 12-Sep-08 08:36:13

My gorgeous 3.5 yrold DS's answer to everything at the moment is 'you are NOT my friend' before storming off or refusing to interact .....driving me mad! I've tried reasoning with him (oh, that's not a very kind thing to say...), asking him not to (please let's try not to say that) and more firmly (that is not something we say etc) and now trying the ignoring tactic. None of them are working - and I know ti is such a trivial think which I should just get over but aaaaggghhhhh!! any suggestions or experience of this? please tell me it's a phase....

McDreamy Fri 12-Sep-08 08:40:03

This happened to DD when she started pre school. When we asked her what happened at school she would reel off who was and wasn't her friend, al her friends were saying similar things to their mothers. Also happened at home when something didn't go her way. My response was generally "ok" and not rise to it ( as frustrating as that was).

She is now 5 and I can't remember the last time she said it either at home or school. Definitely a phase! smile

frogs Fri 12-Sep-08 08:40:56

"That's fine, you don't have to be my friend, you just have to do what I tell you" works for me. Calls their bluff rather neatly.

Janos Fri 12-Sep-08 16:13:10

Nellieloula, my DS (3yr 8m) does exactly..and I mean exactly the same thing!

I just say 'Oh dear, never mind'.

It is annoying but try not to get wound up by it..if he knows he gets a reaction from mummy he will do it even more.

freshprincess Fri 12-Sep-08 16:24:07

I had this as well. I used to say 'You're right, I'm your mother so do as you're told'.

Once you get used to this the next thing will be that everything is boring.

Janos Fri 12-Sep-08 17:04:48

Oh, this has reminded me of something else my DS says.

'You are not coming to my party!'

I think it must be the way he and his friends talk to each other at nursery, if they fall out.

Tryharder Fri 12-Sep-08 22:49:19

DS1 (aged 3 yr 11 mo) says "I dont like you" if thwarted or "you are not my best friend". He stomped off to nursery this morning with his Daddy after I had told him off about some misdemeanour and i distinctly heard him say "Daddy, I dont like mummy".

Usually after about 5 minutes of falling out with me, he comes back and says "mummy, can I be your best friend now?" smile

nellieloula Sat 13-Sep-08 17:27:30

oh thanks everyone. That is all so reassuring - will try those tactics now. Don't you just love the phases wink

Tryharder Sat 13-Sep-08 23:46:56

Can I just add... I am currently on maternity leave from work so am at home all the time at the moment. Had told DS1 off about something, he said "Mummy, I want you to go back to work". I tried not to take it personally.....

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