advice purlease!

[sassybabee]

i have got three children aged 3,5,&7, and feel so out of control most of the time. which makes me feel like a bad mother( which i know i am not)
i just feel like im hitting my head against a brick wall.
my 7 year old has turned into a jekeell and hyde character, full of attitude and answering back. which has got worse since she started the junior school.
my 5 year old started school in sept, which she loves, but is just on hype all the time. still runs off and wont come back when i call her.she dosent sleep in her own bed on her own, i have to sleep beside her to get her to sleep. and during the night as soon as i leave my bed shes in mine. i pick her out and put her back, and soon enough shes back again. i would leave her to scream but it wakes the other 2!
my 3 year old is a typical lil boy into everything! we have started trying to take the reins off him a bit the last few months , but its a nightmare, he just runs riot,will not come back when i call him! tescos was a nightmare at the weekend, tried 3 kids walking round( as refused to go in the trolley!) was getting in everyones way, had to force him in the trolley in the end , screaming for the rest of the trip! he dosent sleep much , unless im in his bed, and even then he is up at 5.30am!
picking the girls up from school is the worst bit, he is ok while we get dd2, but as soon as we get dd1, he goes on hype, runs off, then dd1 runs with him, me shouting running down the road after em. i must look so out of control.
i have tried star charts etc, they are ok for a day or so , then the novelty wears off
can anyone offer any advice please

[Jimjams]

put the reins back on! Seriously. I often use a belt harness with my almost 6 year old autistic boy (and always when I have either of the other kids with me - as he runs off otherwise) and something I have noticed is that even if I have him off the reins he trys to run away less with me than say dh (who I think is a) embarrassed to use the reins and b) never has to manage him and another child - is always one to one).

[sassybabee]

i dunno maybe its me, but i feel the other parents loo at me as being "too overprotective". their children the same age as my 3 year old, all walk lovely beside them, noprobs. i think i maybe over protective a little, i think made worse as we lived in croydon then moved to the country!

[Jimjams]

better than running doown the street. I resisted the reins until ds1 ran out of a newsagents and straight towards the main road- I had to dump ds2 and run- his then SALT (who had a disabled sister) told me to get over my feelings, keep him safe and put a harness on him. best bit of advice I got last year (Iand he's a big 5 year old so yes people do stare- especailly when he's trying to run off straining at the end of them- but still better than him flattened under a car).

BTW my ds2 (NT 3 year old) sometimes tells me he'a "running boy" and goes charging off- so he goes straight into reins then as well