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Behaviour/development

I'd just like some reasurance please.

26 replies

mummyloveslucy · 11/07/2008 19:16

My daughter is 3 years and 4 months, to be exact. She has a speech disorder and is having speech therapy once a week. She has been going to a private nursery since she was 2 where she has been one of 6 in a class with 2 teachers, so she has had loads of attention. It's just that she dosn't seem to be doing as much as the other children. They can write there names, recognise letters, ride a 3 wheeler bike etc. My daughter isn't doing any of that. I know you shouldn't compare but you can't help it sometimes. I don't want her to be behind at school. I help her at home all the time. We do it as a game so that she has fun. I do dot to dots of her name to follow but she can't even do that.
She loves music and can remember whole songs and has great rythem and pitch (according to her music teacher). I know that with her speech problem it is hard to know what she acctually does know but there is a link between speech disorders and learning to read and write.
Do you think she is behind developmentaly? and if so is there anything we can do to help and will she catch up?
The school is very accademic so I don't want her to struggle to much.
I'd be really greatful for any advice.

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lenny101 · 11/07/2008 19:26

I really don't know I'm afraid. But hopefully someone will. x

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mummyloveslucy · 11/07/2008 19:29

Thanks

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sarah293 · 11/07/2008 19:31

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TotalChaos · 11/07/2008 19:31

I wouldn't worry about names, letters and bikes from a developmental point of view. Kids aren't expected to start learning their letters till Reception.

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lenny101 · 11/07/2008 19:34

Good grief Riven.. One session a year? You must be frustrated beyond belief. I really despair at the system.

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bubblagirl · 11/07/2008 19:35

my ds is 3.2 and he cannot seem to write i really wouldnt worry to much at the moment he does know alphabet and numbers and can count objects up to 30 he is ASD and quite common but as for the rest dont worry yourself now this will all be dealt with in sept as nearing school age and progress can come on leaps in that time

just give pencil and paper and and write alphabet see if she'll copy but if she doesnt thats ok i know many children this age that cannot do this

your dd can probably do other things that these children can't do so dont worry yourself she is coming along great

with my ds as he recognises letters i've started to sound them out and he can read short words by doing this but we have done it alot as he gets obsessed with doing it but all part of his asd

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dewmeadow · 11/07/2008 19:36

Children arent ready to read and write until MUCH later than 3!!! She sounds fine to me.

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sarah293 · 11/07/2008 19:37

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mummyloveslucy · 11/07/2008 19:39

riven- no she hasnt been diagnosed with a developmental delay. She has a phonelogical disorder. She can say loads and understands loads too but she sounds soo unclear and her words are jumbles and she changes the way she says words, so it is extreamly hard to understand her. She gets very frustrated if I can't understand her and is usually a very plasid little girl but recently has been getting herself really worked up about it and has even smaked me for not understanding her. (of corse she went in to time out for this) and she cried and said sorry when she was let out.
We don't know why she has the disorder. The speech therapist said that as a family we couldn't be doing more to help her and that she has more support than any other child she sees.

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bubblagirl · 11/07/2008 19:40

i was told 4 is the age when they may start doing this with help so dont panic

my ds canot hold pencil properly so we have to do training to work on his fine motor skills and cannot work a pair of scissors

so i'm having to help him with this for now and not worried about to much else there so young still nad you think how far they have come already one hurdle at a time they will get there

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bubblagirl · 11/07/2008 19:42

do you do makaton with your dd at all? my ds has just started to learn and now says and signs a few things really helps with frustration as if word isnt there sign it instead

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mummyloveslucy · 11/07/2008 19:46

Oh that's good then. I was a bit concerned that all the others can do these things and Lucy is probubly getting more input than they are. Because it is a small nursery with loads of indevidual attention the children tend to be at an advantage by the time they start school.
If the other children can do these things now, does that mean that they will carry on being more advanced than my daughter or will she catch up ?

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mummyloveslucy · 11/07/2008 19:50

I have asked the SALT about macaton and she said she thinks that Lucy is too advanced for it, she also said that she wasn't an expert on macaton so she would check with a coleague.
Macaton usually pickes out the main word in a centence and Lucy can usually get her point accross to me if it's somthing basic.

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bubblagirl · 11/07/2008 19:50

no iwas told with children normally they can start being more advanced and they get to a certain age and they all end up at the same level

you will have the exception of a few but normally they all end up at same level they just learn things a different way round to others but all get there in the end

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mummyloveslucy · 11/07/2008 19:54

Are thanks, that is great to know. I think if the nursery were concerned then they would've told me. Their only concern is her speech and they are doing all they can to help her.

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bubblagirl · 11/07/2008 19:56

blss her i think she's doing great been following your story for ages now if your not doing makaton then it would be worth doing as has helped loads with ds and his frustration his words arecoming along but sometimes there not there and now knows some simple signs even made a few up himself lol but i know what they ,mean

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MrsMacaroon · 11/07/2008 19:56

my friend's daughter (7) has the exact same speech disorder and gets on fine at school.

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mummyloveslucy · 11/07/2008 20:00

That's great. I've asked the SALT wether she thinks that Lucy will need speech therapy at school and will it effect reading and writing. She said it is impossible to tell but at the moment she is responding well to therapy, which is good.

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mummyloveslucy · 11/07/2008 20:04

Yes bubblagirl, you have been a great help over my many threads. You have given lodas of great advice. You're a star xx

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eclipse · 11/07/2008 20:06

mummyloveslucy,
I would not worry about your daughter not doing the things you described. As others have said, these things normally come later. However, there is definitely a link between phonological processing difficulties, early speech and language difficulties and later literacy difficulties.

It sounds like you're giving her the best help you can though, with weekly SALT sessions, lots of songs and rhyming games etc.

At the moment, I'd just try to continue helping her enjoy books and stories. There's no harm in encouraging her sight recognition of words and shapes but keep it simple and just introduce them one at a time. You could also focus on a few letters to recognise, such as the first letter of her name and M for Mummy (either upper or lower case but not both at the same time, to begin with) and only when she is sure of those, introduce a few more.

But my main advice would definitely be not to worry at this stage. I don't think any of the children at my ds's preschool can do the things you described, except pedal trikes, and they all seem to be fine.

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bubblagirl · 11/07/2008 20:08

oh thank you well i return the complment as have aslo used your advise with results also thank you

i will continue to follow progress of little lucy as there so close in age i know not same dx but from the start been helping each other and will continue to try and help if i get any advise from snap will pass it on xx

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mummyloveslucy · 11/07/2008 20:16

Thanks She does really enjoy singing, hearing stories and playing games. She has great concentration and enthusiasm so I think that will really help her.
It's a great idea to learn one letter at a time. Thanks for your reassurance.

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MrsMacaroon · 11/07/2008 20:21

friend's DD still getting letters muddled but speech is pretty good...has always found eating a bit of a problem and took longer to be totally dry, toilet wise but on the whole a delightful, popular and intelligent wee girl.

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mummyloveslucy · 11/07/2008 20:28

Mrs Macaroon, Lucy keeps biting her tounge when she eats and is still not compleatly potty trained, it's a nightmare but that could be a whole new thread. I'm soo glad that she is o.k now. I'm sure Lucy will be too.

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kentgirl73 · 11/07/2008 20:41

My daughters school doesnt even allow them to start writing until the 3rd term of reception, for the first 2 terms they strengthen their muscles in their hands by patterning, ribboning, they do rythemtic gymastics and then when they do start writing they go straight into joined up writing. She is now coming to the end of year one and her writing is beautiful, all joined up and very clear - bit off the tangent regarding original thread, but point is dont worry about the writing, their is plenty of time for that.....my son too has a speech problem, and i havent even thought about the writing as I know it will come from school and with the correct teaching and support = hope all goes well for lucy!

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