Sleep anxiety? 12 months.. help

[Beet]

Hey there - am new to MUMS NET in the hope that I get some reassurance/advice.
My DD has just started screaming every time I put her in her cot. Is 12 months - used to settle herself to sleep ok. Now stands in her cot screaming. Have tried leaving her to cry and going in to lie her down occasionally but the only way she wil settle is if I pat her then sit by her cot until she falls asleep. How long will this last? Problems started when we went to stay with family and put her to bed in a travel cot when we got there/later than usual.
She had a couple of good nights when i got home - then had MMR.
Don't think its necessarily MMR but more like separation anxiety. Patting / being with her works but will she ever return to settling herself if she gets used to me doing this?? This is my main worry. Thanks for any advice.

[MuchLessTiredNow]

Hi there love. this is quite normal and will pass quicker than you think. You can either controlled cry with her - which is hard on you, or do the baby whisperer thing and pick up put down until she settles. Have you tried putting a tshirt that you have worn over her mattress sheet so she can smell you when she settles.

At some point you will need to break her habit of settling with you - but there are gentle ways for both of you to do it. Good luck

[sazzerbear]

Hi Beet
Are you having any luck? My 14 month old ds occasionally wakes up in the night then will not be put down again (like last night, nearly 2.5 hours of tooing and froing!) He seems to have so much energy (regardless of what we've done in the day) and used to go to bed and sleep relatively quickly but now it seems a different story! Hopefully you will have some tips!

[LittleMissNorty]

Hello

My 13 month old started doing this out of the blue a couple of weeks ago, and after much cuddling etc for a couple of nights and making the situation worse, the 3rd night I left her to it and she cried for a while and then went off....it was tough listening to her but we got there in the end - last night and tonight, she's gone down without a wimper (touch wood)

[sazzerbear]

That's reassuring news, good for you - long may it continue! It's tough when they are crying but it seems to be the only way to get them to go to sleep - they hate to miss out on anything, that's the problem!!

[Beet]

Only just had a chance to log on folks. Thanks for all of your advice. Mumset really is a great forum.
In the end I decided to let her cry for 10 min then go in to lay her down - didn't ssh or pat or say anything - just kept going in every 10 mins. It was hell and she'd eventually go to sleep exhausted but it seemed to work. But now I can put her down and leave the room and she settles herself to sleep. Although the other night she woke and cried for an hour and had to keep going in and out to lay her down but didn't hand around. All of this is fair enough but am quite worried about going away again and have her sleep in a travel cot. Which is what seemed to spark it off. Also don't think we can stay in the same room as her anymore as she spend the whole night screaming and looking out of her cot at us.
Hope everyone else on this thread is getting sleep. x

[shirley68]

my 16mth old is doing the same but screaming hysterically when left alone again. Help!!
he's never really been great at sleeping through but with a new 8 week old baby to cope with the screaming is really nerve jangling.

[MrsWB]

Can I join you? My DS who is aged 15 months always used to be a good sleeper when not ill or teething. But the last few nights he has woken up screaming and we haven't been able to settle him. Tried leaving him to cry but he became hysterical and I couldn't bear it.

Either we keep picking up and putting down until he drops off with exhaustion or we take him in with us. Am sure it is separation anxiety as he is being clingy in the day too, but no idea how long it will take to pass.......

Any tips from anyone who's come out the other side?

(PS Beet - it may well have just been coincidence that this started just after you went away - I'd try not to worry too much about going away again)

[desperatelyseekingsleep]

I added a message to the sleep page about exactly this - my 11 month old is doing the same thing, screaming hysterically in the middle of the night, only stopping if picked up by me. It's driving me nuts as he has the capacity to scream for 3 hours solid if left (obviously going in every few mintues to check on him). So I dont' think cc will work with him. How long does this "phase" last and how the hell do you get through it???