Removing toys as a punishment?

[MumtoLaura]

Is removing toys a suitable punishment for a just turned three year old? - She's being 'naughty' at nursery - having tantrums when she can't get her own way. I think no, DP thinks yes. I don't think she's old enough to connect the "crime" with this punishment.

[GreatBigFatHeiferEnid]

we remove toys if they are directly connected with 'the incident' - ie used as weapon to bash dd2. Dh has removed toys from dd1 as a punishment but she never seems that bothered so I don't think its that effective.

Would NEVER remove 'favourite' toys.

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[jampots]

I agree with Enid - remove toys if they are used as a weapon etc or a favourite as a form of bribery but only if the crime is perpertrated at home. Surely nursery have a punishment system. I have removed ds's playstation and tv because he was getting cross with a game last week and bashed his tv screen (not glass) with the controller. I asked him what punishment he thought was appropriate and he came up with removal of p/s for 3 weeks and grounding (ie. no friends round or go to friends) for 2 weeks.

[MrsBigD]

MumtoLaura, DD just turned 3 and she most definitely understands causality.

We usually 'punish' after warning her, e.g. stop screaming/hitting/destroying etc or XYZ will happen, i.e. immedately following the mis-deed.
So telling your dd off or administring 'punishment' for something she did a nursery hours ago won't really work I think.

Also I use 'reasoning' with dd, e.g. she got a new Barbie today and it was still in its packaging. She wanted to play with it, but I told her she has to tidy up the other toys first (that's just a matter of picking them up and chucking them in a big box, so nothing complicated, and I help) or I won't unpack barbie... guess what she did ... all I say is she got Barbie unwrapped.

Probably some child psychologist would shake their head at me now, but it works FOR US

[eefs]

I have a friend with a major hang-up on this - his mother used to regularly take away toys to punish him to the extent that he stopped regarding his toys as really his. He reckons if it was a gift for him then it belonged to him, not a loan until his mother decided to take it away again. It's an extreme case but it made me decide not to take away DS's toys for misbehaviour unless the toy in question is the reason for the misbehaviour i.e. being used as a weapon/being fought over.

def think it's not suitable for a 3 yr old as punishment for a nursery misdemenour - I don't think they are able to properly connect the punishment and the crime if they are separated by a lot of time. What happens in the nursery is the nurserys responsibility to tackle imo.

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[ourdarling]

Yes we remove a toy as final punishment after the warning etc., infact l throw it in the pretend bin under the sink. Very quickly matters are sorted out in order for it to be rescued. To tell you the truth l can't remeber the last time this happened!