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competitive rushing son

(26 Posts)
lowcalCOD Fri 14-Jan-05 12:43:50

I know its al my fault - but ds1 is so carelss with written work, maths no problme and speelling, reading all fine
any ideas how to get him to slow donw?( oh and not view everything as a competition?)

tigermoth Sat 15-Jan-05 08:42:56

why do you say 'I know it's all my fault' cod?

zebra Sat 15-Jan-05 09:46:24

DS1 is the same, he seems to be learning this competitive "do everything fast!" ethos from schoolmates. WE're always telling him to slow down (meals, everything, really).

happymerryberries Sat 15-Jan-05 09:51:24

Well, cod, if it is your fault I think that most mothers of boys have been doing watever causes it

So many boys I teach do this.....sorry if that sounds a generalisation I know that not all do. I am also a mother of a boy and I can see the trait in him. They want to be first , but they don't always want to put the time and effort into being they then 'cover' by saying' It is all crap anyway, who cares' while caring a great deal.

Try getting him to break the task down into managable paragraphs. His targets should be, in the short term, all about presentation, say all the words on the line, or make sure punctuation is good, underlining, use a ruler.

But it is so common, honest!

aloha Sat 15-Jan-05 10:10:32

His speelling is fine? Well he's clearly doing something right then
Course it's not your fault you nana. He's a person in his own right and it's probably his personality type. I'm sure it will help him in other areas.

happymerryberries Sat 15-Jan-05 10:18:08

And you are quite right aloha, the speed and drive pay dividends at some things

lowcalCOD Sat 15-Jan-05 11:43:49

I say it becasue I am a rusher too ( as oyu cna tell)

lowcalCOD Sat 15-Jan-05 11:44:35

thanks all
I am trying a new tack - to see if he can " win" by being the last to finish his wor - the more time is the best mantra

Twiglett Sat 15-Jan-05 13:07:09

hmmm...'apple' ...'tree' ....'falling' ...'far'


lowcalCOD Sat 15-Jan-05 14:06:25


lowcalCOD Tue 18-Jan-05 20:31:17

he got a red card yest at school
teacher said he ssems really out of sorts..

roisin Tue 18-Jan-05 20:39:26

Sorry to hear this Coddy.
What was the card for?
The rushing thing is definitely so common in boys.
I'm really not sure what you can do about it, it is partly a personality trait and as aloha says there are some benefits. (As against perfectionists who can get so emotional about their work if it's not completely 'right'.)

lowcalCOD Tue 18-Jan-05 20:41:32

I dont know what is up with him att h moment - its as if he is ill, really stroppy. the card was for being annoying really: talking, not sitting still, arguing with other kids.

the TA sais it was really out of character. He was mortified with embarrasement. He is normally SO easy to be around.

he had ( his quote ) a " bad weekend" where an unfaviourite cousin annoyed him but htats all really
has been eating early nights etc.

JJ Tue 18-Jan-05 20:46:30

Poor guy. My son has the opposite problem and I've got no idea how to work on that, so I can understand how hard it is to change their nature.

Don't know about being competitive - except make sure he gets beaten often enough to learn how to lose gracefully. But otherwise could you: let him do the work quickly, then go back and check? Essentially do drafts of his work, instead of doing it carefully once. I wasn't like him, but I always read the entire test or bit of homework before starting it and went back and checked my work after doing it. Basically, tell him he may not be the first one done (or the second or the third) and he has to work on it until the fourth (or whatever) person hands hers in.

Could work for you too. Take at least 1 minute (or 30 seconds even) per post and in the extra time, check for typos.

roisin Tue 18-Jan-05 20:46:33

Oh no! Maybe it's just January, and he'll bounce back soon. (I've been grumpy for weeks for no reason: I hate this time of year.) Am I right in thinking he's about 8?

Yurtgirl Tue 18-Jan-05 21:20:10

Message withdrawn

lowcalCOD Tue 18-Jan-05 21:22:01

ta his homework is fine - it school work thats the prob, maths fine though - his maths skil,s still =make me laugh( as prefessionally crap maths person)

yes pph said its S. A . d!!

Demented Tue 18-Jan-05 21:38:55

My DS1 is a rusher too. Thinks its better to get through something and be first rather than be last and have it done right! His teacher has commented to us about it and said we should set him tasks like writing his name (he's only just started School) and if it is rushed and sloppy we should put a cross through it and ask him to do it again more carefully, she said to keep going until it looked like he was putting real effort into and then give him a reward, perhaps a star for his star chart but personally the thought of putting cross through his work just turns me off and I have only made a half-hearted attempt at this preferring to take the 'he'll grow out of it approach'.

On Saturday we took him ice skating for the first time, which he loved, but he fell about 40 times and all he could say was "I was better than you because I was faster" ??!?!???!

roisin Tue 18-Jan-05 21:56:11

Oh no, no, no, no, no Demented - that sounds awful! Crossing out a child's work, at such an early age?! No way!

I know your ds is still very young - about 5.5? and just starting to write. I would simply praise him for everything he produces, and concentrate acknowledging his effort, task commitment and concentration ... don't worry about the product, the presentation at all atm ... there's plenty of time to worry about getting it neat later. Right now you just need to encourage him to want to write, to have a go. Crossing it out is just going to put him off doing it at all.

Oooh ... this has really wound me up - can you tell?!
What do you think of the teacher generally?

lowcalCOD Tue 18-Jan-05 21:59:10

yes agree demented " emergent writing" is very much the thing in schools and is one reason why ds1 is very good at writing - if careless- an his spelling is pretty good.

he is never scared to make a msistake - now we need to challenge his confidence into carefeulness

( she said sounding rather porud of him - sorry)

lowcalCOD Wed 19-Jan-05 18:14:05


lowcalCOD Wed 19-Jan-05 18:14:10

oops sorry

roisin Wed 19-Jan-05 18:19:03

Oh bless! I hope he's feeling better soon.

I usually end up with pangs of guilt when ds1 suddenly turns unwell, as nearly always I've been exasperated and impatient with him the week before, when he's clearly been suffering but hasn't communicated it to me. (Where are their male "woe is me I have a cold" genes?)

Demented Wed 19-Jan-05 23:57:05

Coddy hope your DS is feeling better soon.

Roisin, in general I am happy with the teacher, she seems really enthusiastic but I think she does the crossing out business in the class if she thinks the work is sloppy and rushed, I will quiz DS1 about it. At the parents' night I could see the logic in what she was saying but the time I tried it I couldn't do it, it just felt awful and decided just to forget about it but you're right I should investigate what goes on the in classroom. DS1 has just turned 6 but he started School a year later (we are in Scotland and can get away with such things ).

lowcalCOD Thu 20-Jan-05 08:01:57

ta ds3 ill now too
all hiugh tmep and lethragic

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