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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

14 month old DD. How do I get her to stop fiddling with everything?

17 replies

FunkyGlassSlipper · 08/02/2008 19:23

I know its probably impossible, but....

I've had a nightmare day today really.

DD2 is actually quite naughty. She keeps turning the TV, PS3 and Xbox360 on and off. She keeps going into the fridge. And today she managed to get a dishwasher tablet out of the box, sealed packet and take a bite. Fortunately I got her straight away and washed her mouth out but whatever I say or do she doesn't listen. Now I know she's only 14 months but DD1 has always been pretty obedient and always responded to No, distraction, time out etc. I dont know what to do with DD2 as she is naughtier and seems to have selective hearing. Tips please?

Everything just seems never-ending. I delight in my DDs differening personalities but I'm finding this particular trait quite difficult.

And YES I have moved the dishwasher tablets (although she did climb to get them in the first place).

OP posts:

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PrettyCandles · 08/02/2008 19:27

Impossible. Sorry, but completely impossible. I also have a 14m (he's my third).

She's not being naughty - she doesn't know how to yet. She is merely going to what attracts or interests her, and doing what gets intereting reactions from her family.

The more you try to stop her, the more she will do it. You've got to either make things out of reach, or make them boring. I don't think you can make the TV etc boring, so would suggest you put them in a playpen for the next 6-12m. Put a lock on the fridge, or a stairgate across the kitchen door. Etc. And when she does something you don't want her to do, just move her away from it and replace it without saying anything or showing by your body language that it is driving you up the wall.

GrapefruitMoon · 08/02/2008 19:28

Cupboard locks on cupboards and, if possible, handles on internal doors so she can't open them herself.

Keep kitchen door shut if you're not going to be in there - if she's really bad use a stairgate to keep her out while you are cooking, etc.

Similarly, keep door to room with gadgets in shut if you're not in there with her - or else put them away for a while.

You can get covers for dvd platers, etc to stop kids playing with the buttons but most kids can rip those off pretty quickly!

GrapefruitMoon · 08/02/2008 19:28

players not platers!

nickytwotimes · 08/02/2008 19:29

Pretty Candles is dead right, I'm afraid. You can say no until you are blue in the face to no avail. I used to poo poo babyproofing until ds got to that stage!

FunkyGlassSlipper · 08/02/2008 19:33

I know you are right of course.

And Pretty Candles, I know it isnt real naughtiness too Although she knows when something is disapproved of as she looks at you then does an evil criminal mastermind type cackle and then goes ahead

The fridge is built into a cupboard so not sure those fridge lock things would work. I have an open plan kitchen with three entrances so not really able to gate it off either. (sigh)

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PerkinWarbeck · 08/02/2008 19:33

we've got this at the moment. DD is 11mo, and so clearly is a fiddling/destruction prodigy . "no" to her means "pause, smile, continue".

we've locks on the cupboards but foolishly decided on rather a lot of open shelving before we had DD . so a lot of stuff has been boxed up. And we leave the telly, stereo, DVD player etc unplugged. I just use the digital radio in the day, as it's too high for her to drive me mad turning it off and on all day.

FunkyGlassSlipper · 08/02/2008 19:34

I have started moving her away and it is th only thing she really reacts to with serious displeasure but then we repeat like a broken record.

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snookie28 · 08/02/2008 19:36

My dd is 16 months and all I can do is distract her and remove her from the situation if it is dangerous. I have learnt to pick my battles as it is v wearing (and not very positive for her) constantly trying to stop her doing things. Electrical equipment within her reach will get touched for instance.

It is surely quite a rare toddler who obeys everything that you say? I thought this was a vital stage in their development to learn to push boundaries and explore the world around them. I do however find her much more inquisitive when she is bored or not stimulated enough so I find that taking her out and getting her to run around tires her out and then she is much more docile when she gets back to the house.

Desiderata · 08/02/2008 19:38

She's not being naughty. She's being 14 months.

If it's a trait, it's one shared by all babies/toddlers. I'm afraid you just have to grin and bear it for a while. Any attempt to seriously curtail her explorations will be met with tantrums and general all round unhappiness.

It doesn't last forever. Honestly

FunkyGlassSlipper · 08/02/2008 19:38

Dd1 might have something to say if I took the tv away

Main problem is I've been ill and I'm knackered.

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GrapefruitMoon · 09/02/2008 08:27

Open plan living always looks great in magazines, etc but IMO, not very practical with small children!

cory · 09/02/2008 10:21

You can't. Anything dangerous such as dishwater tablets should live very high up and/or in a locked cupboard.

FunkyGlassSlipper · 09/02/2008 17:56

I've moved everything dangerous now so I think I'll let her get on with it and try and chill out.

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HonoriaGlossop · 09/02/2008 18:03

agree that open plan can be an absolute nightmare with very young kids!

Also agree that you have to babybroof to the maximum otherwise you will be saying no all day long and driving yourself mad. unplugging appliances is a great idea because it takes away the 'cause and effect' thing that they enjoy....I also took the approach of sitting with ds and allowing him to play for a little while with the DVD player or whatever, so that he felt it was not the forbidden fruit....he knew he could only do it when I was there and for a short while. Worked for us but then ds is an only and I'm not chasing round after five other kids and had the time to do this with him.

Give as many 'cause and effect' type activities as you can to play to this aspect of her and to distract her; things like water play, pouring from one thing to another are great, and so are banging kitchen pans if you can stand it. Anything they feel they can have a good effect on keeps them happy for a while at this age!

cory · 11/02/2008 08:32

We had a special cupboard in the kitchen that was dd's. Filled with wooden spoons and plastic containers. She knew she was allowed to "cook" with those things but not with anything else. My Mum taught me this one, I was allowed to use the pots and pans.

CantSleepWontSleep · 11/02/2008 08:40

We have a big opening (couple of metres) to our kitchen too, but we bought a babydan playpen, got some free wall attachments from babydan, and fixed it up as a barricade with a gate in it. Surely you could do that to keep her out of the kitchen?

squimlet · 11/02/2008 08:46

hmm you cant really. Have you tried distraction? I try and turn my back and say 'ohhhhh this is so brilliant, wow ...etc' as though I have the most intresting thing in the world that she cant see, it works a treat. They cannot resist coming and having a look at what is so flipping intresting.

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