When do pre-schoolers get more interested in playing together 'normally'

[SaveScrabulous]

Ds is 2.6 and still seems to mostly ignore other kids. He sometimes interacts a little but has a very take it or leave it approach. Nursery mentioned this this morning in that there were two tables at breakfast - one empty and the other with 5 kids around it and he wanted to sit at the empty one. The nursery staff person said he was often a bit like that e.g. happy to sit on his own.

I know this side of his personality is part of him and he is very self-sufficient and not an extrovert in the true sense of the word (as in he thinks a lot in his head rather than out loud - he can be extrovert in the way that society rather than psychologists often use the word).
He is a lot like his dad.

When do kids get more interested in playing together with other kids? When we've had a few friend's children staying he is okish but they tend to be much more interested in him than the other way round.

Part of the reason I'm worrying is actually because he is being assessed for 4+ entry to a school and I I think they prefer sociable children!

I don't think there is anything at all 'wrong' with him, just that he is not the most sociable little person. Could this improve though?

[mumeeee]

Some children are socaible at your sons age. But most children don't usually strt mixing properly until tgey are 3.

[LadySanders]

my ds1, now aged 6.5, is a bit like this. not shy, and extremely chatty with people he likes but certainly wasn't sociable at that age. got a bit more outgoing around age 5 when he started year 1 at school but even now is not one of those manic running around the playground types. nothing to worry about... and in terms of school assessments, i worried about same thing, but my son was more confident sitting chatting to one grown up than being thrown into a group of his peers, and yours may well be the same.

[GooseyLoosey]

dd is 3.4 and has just started doing it. On the other hand ds is 4.8 and still not sure he gets the socialising thing properly and seems content on his own. I wouldn't worry!

[BITCAT]

I think it is around 3yrs but doesn't mean anything wrong if he doesn't..some children and adults just prefer there own company and are quite happy to be on there own.

[SaveScrabulous]

Bit cat - I'm sure there's nothing 'wrong' (although reassuring to hear others' opinions), so it's not so much that I'm worried about - he is just a quieter, contemplative type (which has its upside generally) it's more the school assessment thing!

Problem is LadySanders - the assessment is mainly a group task - 8 or so kids in the room.

He does go to nursery so it shouldn't be a complete disaster but I'm still worried!

I guess there are still 8 or 9 months to go so he might grow out of it a bit by then anyway....

[frecklyspeckly]

My little girl is very independent in that way, having had 1 older who is very very sociable and very friendly I appreciate her aloofnes a bit: here are the positives; no befriending agressive kids who smack, shout, get them into trouble or treat them like pooh whilst they try to convince you 'he's my friend mummy!! , also good he has his own strong identity. the other eight kids will surely not be selected on their ability to be a group player will they? i am sure none of them are at that age. i think teachers love a quieter sensitive child (although nothing against a nice loud one). No discrimination intended.prob You will find a lot of parents will also welcome your child's friendship when he gets to school (so much easier to handle a polite calm one when having tea than one who goes so mad he has a nosebleed, then slams ds fingers in door!) sorry- this was recent experience- completly irrelevent to your prob - cue whines of older child... 'he's my friend, mummy...'

[paddyclamp]

My 3.11 year old is getting there slowly. He has maybe 3 or 4 close friends as opposed to being the kids who's invited to every party at nursery, but i'm happy with that.

Trouble is when he starts school in Sept he won't know anyone so i'm worried how he'll cope having to start again!

[luciemule]

They don't socially need to play 'with' other children until they're around 3, although they'll play independently and happily next to them before that.

[SaveScrabulous]

yes that sounds right - he sort of plays in parallel and will occasionally interact with another child we have over if encouraged or there is an activity they are both doing e.g. hide and seek or something.

He just never seems to talk to other kids really.

[BibiThree]

DD has just started doing it and she's 3.3 - but only with certain children and only for short bursts of time.

[Niecie]

Parallel play does indeed start at about the age of 2.5 or 3. As with everything else some children develop at a different rate to others so there is plenty of time for him to get interested, although, of course, he may just be a loner and happy with his own company.

Why did the nursery mention this now? They are best place to help him join a little more because they are with him and the other children on a regular basis, not you. Do they have any advice?