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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Learning to wipe your own bum!

18 replies

Katherine · 27/09/2002 11:42

Hi, My DS is now 4. He's been toilet trained for AGES and is happy to go settle himself and just shout me to come and wipe. He will be starting shcool at Easter and it has just occurred to me that he will need to be wiping his own bum by then. How on earth to I go about teaching him as it fills me with dread?

Sorry to be graphic but he often has what we call "tails" which are difficult enough for me to "catch"! I dread to think of him tackling it by himself but presumably it is something I need to sort out. Are other 4yr olds self wipers? I read the thread on toddler tissue with interest, I'd always thought such things expensive hype, but maybe it would help.

Any suggestions on getting started? Am I just being a bit squeemish here?

OP posts:

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SoupDragon · 27/09/2002 11:47

No ideas but I want to know the answer too!! DS2 (3 1/2) has been toilet trained since Christmas ans thinks putting the paper in the bowl is sufficient.

I've got some of those Pampers flushable wipes to make the clean up operation easier but I'm not convinced his arms are long enough to reach round for a proper wipe.

I'm soooo glad I'm not alone with this one!

Tinker · 27/09/2002 11:50

My 5 year old still won't (she can!) wipe her own bottom. When I asked her what she will do at school, she just said 'I just won't go then'.

Lynne33 · 27/09/2002 11:52

I am in the same situation at the moment. I swallowed the hype and bought those toilet wipes, and the first time we experimented it was a disaster. There was more poo on ds's hands than on the wipe. However he is getting gradually better, although I still wipe him myself afterwards just to make sure.

Then I suddenly thought, he's not going to have these wipes at school so he'll have to start using normal toilet paper soon.

He actually started school this September, but luckily he hasn't had to put his new skills into practice yet. He only has one poo a day and that seems to be just before bed.

So my advice is start practicing now, and just brace yourself for it being messy!!!

Katherine · 27/09/2002 11:57

Time to get a shower fitted then!

OP posts:

georgiana · 27/09/2002 16:29

My dd is 4 and comes up with excuses all the time so I'll have to wipe it for her like'I can't do it when it's a big one' or 'I'll do it at school myself'or tomorow I'll do it and so on.I got some of those toilet wipes from tescos that someone recommended,they are good.I'm glad they're flushable now as we always used ordinary wipes and still risked it by flushing them.Can't tell much diference though.Katherine you've got plenty of time at least to teach him how until easter,so it's good you've made a start now.I don't think they are keen to do it on their own at least mine isn't.

WideWebWitch · 27/09/2002 20:37

Hi Katherine, my ds has been wiping his own bum for a year and a half ish (he's 5 v. soon) just because I couldn't stand to do it another minute longer. To start with I just showed him how to do it, told him he could do it and agreed that then I'd check it (that was nice first thing in the morning, having his bum shoved in my face with cheeks held apart for inspection, mmmm ). After a while I realised he was doing it fine so I just stopped checking. His pants never look bad to me so I reckon he's doing it OK now. Oh it's all so lovely isn't it?! Better than nappies though IMO! Good luck.

IDismyname · 28/09/2002 09:40

Yup, we're in the same situation, too! Ds started at school 3 weeks ago, and has stuck to his evening routine of poohs. Trouble is, if any gets "left behind", he gets a really sore bottom.
I shall be checking this thread regularly to see if anyone has the answers!!

Copper · 28/09/2002 12:34

One of the things that has stuck in my memory about Dunblane was a father saying about how his daughter (6? lovely girl) always used to yell down from the bathroom for someone to come and wipe her bottom, how annoyed they used to get, and how they would give anything to hear her yell it again. Saddest of sad.

tigermoth · 28/09/2002 21:13

yes, saddest of sad.

zebra · 29/09/2002 05:41

This is a funny thread.

DS (not yet 3) tries to wipe himself.
He's so clean, though... honest, there's rarely anything to wipe off. Maybe because he doesn't use a toilet seat or anything? Just climbs on an adult toilet, straddles & does his business.

I can remember my mom teaching me to wipe myself... sheesh, I couldn't have been more than 4.

THERESA · 29/09/2002 08:08

My daughter has just had her 4th birthday and started nursery school. During the summer I realised she'd have to learn to wipe herself and she's quite happy to do it. She stands up to wipe, rather than doing it while still on the loo and I think that is easier, and I check when she's finished. Sometimes her pants are a little marked but on the whole not bad, and easier than I thought.

bunny2 · 29/09/2002 14:46

My toddler is not yet toilet trained - soon though as he's 27 months - but he always insists on wiping himself when I do his nappy. Unfortunately he uses anything within reach ie curtains (cream ones) and, last week just before dinner guests arrived he used the white linen napkins which were freshly ironed and about to be put onthe table! Bless him

CAM · 29/09/2002 16:50

zebra
you've got a very good memory, thank goodness I can't remember my mum teaching me to wipe myself!

KMG · 29/09/2002 19:53

Ooh I feel embarassed. My ds (5) stayed with my mum this summer whilst we were moving, and came back having learned how to wipe his own bum!

rozzy · 29/09/2002 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SueDonim · 30/09/2002 06:41

KMG, can I send my dd to your mum for a week???

Katherine · 30/09/2002 08:43

Well I asked DS is he wanted to wipe his own bum this weekend. He grinned and said "Yes Please" (The enthusiasm is heart warming!). First time he didn't really achieve anything but second time he got it spot on and none of the awful mess I was dreading. Not so good this morning but the task seems a little less daunting than it did last week.

OP posts:

Nattie · 30/09/2002 23:29

My ds is 4 3/4 and we're still wiping his. The teachers at his Nursery school expected to have to wipe the children's bottoms - however, the toilets were integral to the nursery classroom. Now that he has moved up to Reception and has to go to the toilet outside the classroom, he told me that he stops himself pooing until he comes home. I've been attempting to 'train' him intermittently, but he is a complete control freak (hopefully not anally retentive) and won't do anything until he's sure he can do it properly. He was like that with toilet training - one day he was in nappies, the next he was using the toilet (standing on his step to wee!)with very few accidents. So, like most other things in his development, I'm following his lead.

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