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Behaviour/development

My son wont stop twisting my hair when he is tired....any ideas??

31 replies

cantseemyfeet · 15/10/2007 00:32

My 3 year old son has this obsession with playing with my hair when he is tired. He twirls it round his fingers until it is in a tight knot and I have even had to cut the knots out before because they have been impossible to untangle.

He has always done it but since I have had Ds3 I have been too tired to wake up when he sneaks into my bed in the night and, if he dosent wake me up by pulling my hair out by the roots (V.painfull) I wake up in the morning looking like Freddy Bosswell!!

I have tried to get him to stop, Ive shouted, tried to get him to cuddle a teddy instead, I even contemplated getting a doll with hair for him to have at bedtime but every shop I have looked in has BALD dolls!!

Im sure it is like a security blanket thing and I am trying to tread carefully when trying to stop him because new babe is only 10 weeks old and dont want him to feel I am pushing him away because of baby.

Has anyone else had this problem?? If so what did you do?? Im pretty eager to get this sorted before I end up bald or demented!!

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HotLove · 15/10/2007 11:46

i used to do this with my own hair when i was that age and it used to become tangled. so she kept my hair short but you could go for a nive vicky beckham style

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OnACaffieneHigh · 15/10/2007 12:06

Could you plait your hair at night?

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Capers · 15/10/2007 12:38

Have the same problem but no remedies I'm afraid. He now also trails his younger brother around the room with his fingers enmeshed in his hair. The LO absolutely hates it.

Well, actually I suppose that is one suggestion - how is DS3's hair coming along?

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damewashalot · 15/10/2007 12:44

DS2 used to do this, I trained him to twiddle his own hair by moving his hand to his head each time he started with no real comment, seemed to work.

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Rosa · 15/10/2007 12:51

I used to do this on myself and had really fine hair used to twiddle and then sort of poke the bottom through. I can remember screaming when mum tried to get the knots out ! It was a soft toy that solved it for me...and I still have it !!

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cantseemyfeet · 16/10/2007 00:15

thanx for replies guys. I only have shoulder length hair so cant plait it, dont much fancy looking like V.Beckham,she is a muppet!!!

Capers, Ds3 is bald as a coot so no hope there, however he does have a 10 year old bro he frequently tortures!! He still prefers me when he is tired though.
Have tried the soft toy but will persevere and try to get him to pull his own hair out!! I have "new baby moulting" at the mo so reeeeeeeeally dont want to lose any more hair if I can help it. I even considered sleeping in a wooly hat to stop him but fear I would be carted off in a white coat!!

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PillockInTheCommunity · 16/10/2007 00:19

erm, I do this to my own hair when I am anxious even now, and I am 25 regularly have to cut knots out. I'd cut it short, but I used to do it even with short hair

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cantseemyfeet · 16/10/2007 00:21

GREAT!!!!!!!! Am destined to be knackered mother of 3 with attractive bald patches in hair. Maybe I should just do a Brittany, that would cap him!!

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newknifenewslain · 16/10/2007 00:24

Not helpful but, that is so sweet!

My mum's late mother used to twist her own hair and it is one of my mother's fond memories of her ;)

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xXxspookyxXx · 16/10/2007 00:36

ah thats cute

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Eve · 16/10/2007 01:46

no suggestions, but mine rubs ears... not the ear lob the top of the ear and

IT DRIVES ME NUTS!!!

he rolls top of ear between his fingers.

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AussieSim · 16/10/2007 04:04

My DS2 loves my hair too, but most of the time it is just vaguely annoying rather than painful or knot creating. If I am not nearby he does it to his own hear creating a rather attractive sticky outy bit on the top of his head - I have been careful not to get his hair cut in case he doesn't sleep anymore. Everyone who sees him with my hair or his own thinks it is the cutest thing, though it is quite annoying in the mornings when he comes in and I am hoping to get another half an hours sleep. Both my DS's are also avid thumbsuckers and I just consider myself lucky that they are able to self soothe so effectively and hope they keep it up especially as i have DC3 on the way. I think you will just have to ride it out and as he gets older just have talks with him about it. As they get older they don't want to be considered a 'baby' and this kind of thing stops - I hope!

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Katiekin · 16/10/2007 12:09

My ds who is 9yo still does it. When I had it cut shorter I gave him a bit in an elastic band but even that didn't work!

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Moomalicious · 19/10/2007 16:00

My 3.1 yo ds does this too, it drives me insane. I'd never even considered that I could get him to stop! My hair is almost down to my bum and I just tie it up on the days I know I can't cope with the constant twiddling and tugging! I wouldn't worry too much, one of my friend's son needs to squeeze her boobs to get to sleep and he's 3 too!

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allhallows · 19/10/2007 16:03

My friend's ds did this for years. Drove her insane. She was going to chop her hair off & give it to her ds, but has finally found a solution: she gently takes him by the twiddlesome hand & holds it. Sweet. And it works, apparently.

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Pollyanna · 19/10/2007 16:04

I have one dd that does this while sucking her thumb!

I also have another dd who likes to stroke my ear.

It's extremely irritating when they both do it at the same time

but sorry no suggestions on how to stop it!

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cantseemyfeet · 23/10/2007 00:40

Thanx for the replies guys,

I have tried guiding his hand to his hair which failed, I tried holding his hand which also failed and out of sheer desperation, after digging out the winter woolies, I tried wearing my sons wooly hat!!! Was a complete waste of time because a)It was itchy and uncomfortable b)it didnt cover the bottom of my hair which he went on to twist and c)my eldest son nearly wet himself laughing when he came into my room yesterday morning to see me lying in bed wearing a stripy wooly hat!!

I have now run out of ideas and, unless I get hair shaved off I fear I am likley to be driven totally insane with it. It is like an obbsession with him, no matter how many times I move his hand or tell him to get off my hair he is back to twisting it within seconds.

Im off in search of a doll with hair again, if that dosent work I will just have to tie his hands together!!!!!!!

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Tortington · 23/10/2007 00:43

chop his fooking hand off

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Oblomov · 23/10/2007 13:30

I am a 'hair twiddler'. I do it when I am happy, tired, anxious, relaxing.
I have done if for years. Sometimes not at all, sometimes loads.
Very odd habit.
No amount of bribery or hand slapping has ever done any good for me.
Drives my dh nutty.

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cantseemyfeet · 24/10/2007 19:09

Thanx oblomov that has just made my day (NOT). I woke up this morning to find he had "attacked" again. Had to cut 2 small knots out of hair, its agony and it is driving me insane, however, I dont think I will be taking you up on yr suggestion Custenstein, seems a tad excessive!!

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FuzzyFeeling · 24/10/2007 19:54

well at least he doesn't kneed your breasts like my DS does, and he needs to be touching skin so puts his hand down my top to do it. very embarassing when out in public

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bran · 24/10/2007 20:00

What about this doll with hair. DS has one and loves him. They don't make them any more so you can't get them in the shops, but I think you can still get the girl version of the same doll in some shops, which might be just as good for your son.

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celandine · 27/10/2007 21:48

Buy him his own hair from Ebay.I bought a human hair weft for about £8 and tied it into a ponytail, secured it wth a band and it's a huge success! My ds 4yrs has been a constant hair twiddler since he was a baby too and it used to drive me barmy when he did it to me. He did it to his own hair mostly and actually ended up pulling his own hair out on the top of his head because of the contant twisting. Having his own portable hair has revolutionised our lives!

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cantseemyfeet · 29/10/2007 22:37

Oh that sounds like a great idea, cant believe you can actually buy human hair from ebay but will certainly give it a go, thanks.
I actually went to a relatives house today and saw a doll WITH HAIR!! Was so tempted to ask to borrow it but doubt little girl who owned it would of been so keen.
Whats making matters soooo much worse is the fact that my hair is already dropping out after having DS3 12 weeks ago (I moult like a hairy hound after having babys) so having Ds2 twist it out by the roots ASWELL as post natal moulting is doing nothing for my image or sanity!!

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zez · 30/10/2007 12:03

Hi
I have had this problem with my DS since he was about three and he turns 7 in December and he is still doing it.
It has started to bother me as I feel this is immature behaviour for him now.
I think he does it when he is tired or bored really and it has become a habit.

He also has another habit of sucking his tongue which I cannot get him out of, this also seems to happen more if he is tired, bored, or just simply chilling out.

The tongue sucking has been going on ever since he was about 6 months old crazy I know.
I am worried has he just got his first adult tooth and if he carries on with this habit he might ruin the shape of his adult teeth.

I would hate to see him in junior school next September and still have this habit as I think he occasionally does it in school.

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