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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

2 year old suddenly hysterical at bed time

13 replies

lulumama · 30/09/2007 19:34

From new born, DD has always been fine with going down for a sleep, be it a nap or for the night.

Last night, we were going out, and she was so hysterical , that DH had to stay at home for an hour, to settle her. She finally slept, and then we had call from babysitter to say she had woken up, hysterical, after a couple of hours.

DH went home and managed to settle her, she fell asleep in our bed. When i got home, DH said he would sleep upstairs as he had work in the morning so, i put her back in her cot and within minutes she was screaming.

ended up taking her into our bed, she was wide awake, wanting to watch peppa pig ! and kicking and wriggling and talking. She finally fell asleep at 04.30 . and then woke up at 06.45

I am a little weary today after 2 hours sleep.

struggled to get her down for a nap at 12.30 , she slept for almost 2 hours, which is not that unusual.

just put her to bed , and so much screaming she has vomited and is all hot and bothered.

she is just settled now, almost 30 minutes later

what is going on??????

and my every sympathy to parents who go through this from the get go, it is awful.

any thoughts on how to tackle this sudden hatred of bed time?

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lulumama · 30/09/2007 19:42

anyone?

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XcupcakemummyX · 30/09/2007 19:46

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lulumama · 30/09/2007 19:48

she seems well in herself, playing , eating, drinking and pottering about , chatting away

went out for lunch and she was charm personified ! after so little sleep too !

seperation anxiety> at this age? really`?

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Upsidedowncake · 30/09/2007 19:49

Bad dream?

Could she be worried about monsters?

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XcupcakemummyX · 30/09/2007 19:49

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suzi2 · 30/09/2007 20:02

DS does this about the bath all of a sudden.

Could be separation anxiety. Or was it because she knew you were going out and didn't want you to? Bad dreams? Monsters etc?

DS was never the best sleeper until about 18 months but before then he was tough goin at bed times and we spent many a night playing in his room at all hours to calm him down. Things improved a lot when he moved into his 'big' bed and could get out of bed to play and things. DD is 7 months and we have hysteria for every nap and waking every 90 mins! (sorry, just needed yet another moan!).

Things you could try... make sure her room isn't too hot or she isn't overdressed as that's more likely to make her fussy or have bad dreams. Talk to her about what's going on and perhaps introduce a sticker chart for staying behaving well at bedtime? Depends what 'end' of 2yr old she is I suppose for that one but DS likes stickers at the moment. Reorganise her room to rid it of any monsters. Get a new duvet cover. Make a big fuss about her big girl room with new duvet etc?

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suzi2 · 30/09/2007 20:07

Meant to say that the reason DS went into his toddler bed was that it was in his room and during one of his 2am screaming fits (and wanting to go watch TV!) he kept laying on it. DH got fed up with being awake and just said "I'm going to shut your door, you go to sleep in the bed whenever you want." After a few minutes of playing it all went quiet and in the morning we found he was still in it. We then threatened him with being put in the cot and not the "big boy bed" if he played up at night! Worked until the cot got handed down to DD andnow he's jealous...

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lulumama · 30/09/2007 21:25

maybe she knew we were going out, as for tonight, we were both there.. so maybe it is seperation anxiety all of a sudden

will keep persevering with putting her to bed calmly but without making a fuss when she is hysterical.

hey ho

just one of those things maybe

thanks for your thoughts ladies

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nannynick · 30/09/2007 22:31

This started by you and DH going out for the evening... so can I ask about if you have left DD with a babysitter before? Was this a new situation for DD, or was this babysitter well known to her?

It could be the start of coming down with some illness, it can make them more clingy, and restless sleepers.

Is DD able to communicate regarding what is bothering her - eg. telling or showing you something that is upsetting her in her room.

Have there been any changes in her bedroom... new soft toy for example.

How to tackle it... be consistent is my advice. Stick with bedtime routine, so that DD knows that it is sleep time, not peppa pig time. Reassure her that you are still there, that you will check on her say every 15 minutes. Keep an eye out for signs of illness.

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VoodooLULUmama · 01/10/2007 12:54

thanks nannynick

we have been out plenty of times, but usually DD is in bed, or just being put to bed when babysitter is here. this time she came downstairs and played with her for a bit

oh dear

she thought we were never coming back

also, she is not terribly good at talking, although she is 2 and 2 months, she is not really putting sentences together... she has been referred to SALT.

she can say words, and good at pointing and taking us to things she wants, but she would not be able to articulate her emotional needs or fears.. how do i help her with that?

poor little girl

have put her down for a nap, she resisted at first, but then settled

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nannynick · 01/10/2007 22:47

It gets better over time... I was babysitting tonight for a 2 year old (with diagnosed issues, lets say to keep confidentiality intact) and even though he knows me well, he still needed reassurance that mummy was coming home again.

As you leave your DD with carers, pre-school etc more, she will learn over time that you will return.

I care for a 6 year old, who wants to know the time that mummy and daddy are getting home... once he knows that time, he's fine... but if he isn't told a time, he will stay awake worrying about if mummy and daddy are coming home.

Helping with fears is tricky. SALT may be able to recommend some things - perhaps using using face symbols to present Happy, Sad, Angry - perhaps using PECS (a way of communicating using symbols).

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VoodooLULUmama · 02/10/2007 17:31

thank you , that makes sense

DD , as i said is on the waiting list for SALT, but might not see anyone until Xmas time .

monday night was better, she started screaming, but quickly self settled, and DH put her down for a nap, and again, a bit of a squawk, and then self settled.

will be interesting to see what tonight brings

i am going to invite our babysitter round this week to meet with and play with DD so she gets to know her a bit more.

also, she is going to CMs tomorrow, and has started playgroup, so she is going to be learning about being left, but mummy does come back

thanks for the good advice and reassurance

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Lulumama · 03/10/2007 13:37

in case anyone is interested..

she settled to sleep in 30 seconds flat last night, went down for a nap no problem and was fine going to CM and playgroup today