Aggressive/rude behaviour 8 year old

[Sp1rited]

Help!! I am at my wits end. My 8 (nearly 9) year old son has a lot of trouble controlling his emotions at home. He has always been strong willed, and has always had periods of having outbursts however, this 'phase' is pushing me to my limit. He is very big and strong for his age. When tired/asked to do something he doesn't like/told off, he often deals with it by getting into a rage. He shouts in our faces and then the next step is to physically lash out....either a hit/kick/throw something at us etc. He talks back ALL the time. I just don't know what to do anymore! I don't know what's normal and what's not either. He is an angel at school (apparently he can control his emotions there because he doesn't want to get in trouble) and when I tell people what he's like, they find it hard to believe because he's so good. He is very mature, and pretty emotionally intelligent for his age. He gets good grades and has lots of friends. If this had just been happening since lockdown, I may pass it off as that, but every year or two we have phases like this. I vividly remember a very difficult patch around 2 years ago. I research parenting techniques, educate him on anger and come up with ways he can calm down...BUT when he goes into a rage, that all goes out he window and I/my husband become the punching bag. Has anyone else been through this? Any recommendations for techniques that actually worked? I constantly worry for his mental health, but find it so hard to know if this is a mental health issue or part of bringing up a strong willed/spirited child. I have reached out to our local support services so hopefully they will help. We don't have any grandparent support which doesn't help as we are always together. Anyway, sorry for the rant! Any help welcome xx

[Boredbumhead]

I am also struggling with my 8 year old. Not for the level of anger you suggest, but for his addiction to you tubers, him not listening to me when it's bed time and saying mean things to his younger brother. He is also an angel in school.

[Whatisthisarghhh]

Lots of sympathy from me. My 8 nearly 9 year old DD is the same. The angry outbursts are exhausting. I worry what the neighbours must think. Tantrums , crying and shouting like she is a 3 year old. I find it so worrying and tiring. Just about to start reading The Explosive Child by Dr Greene. Hoping it will help.