2 year old pushing over 6 month old ... how do I approach it so that it stops.

[Mung]

DS (2) has been fine with DD up until now. She is sitting up and is much more animated. He interacts well with her most of the time, giving her toys and laughing with her. However, recently he has started to just push her over and hit her with things all of a sudden. I ignore bad behaviour as much as possible and I find that it works well. BUT, I cannot ignore this. I have tried getting cross with him and moving him away. I have tried just scooping DD up and giving her loads of attention. Neither seem to be having the required effect. He will ask to kiss her (his 'sorry'), so he knows that its wrong, but he just does it again later.

Is it normal? Will it stop? Any advice?

[Flibbertyjibbet]

I think this is perfectly normal.
There is a 16m age gap between my boys and the pushing started as soon as ds2 could sit up. Is not as bad now that ds2 is not only mobile but a fast mover.
For making ds2 cry there is zero tolerance, its straight to the naughty poorch (we tried the step but ds2 goes and sits there too!). Ds 1 will stand in the poorch shouting 'I wanna say sorry to xxbrotherxx' and will hug him as soon as he comes out, but he just keeps on doing it.
Just yet another phase of toddlerhood.
Every flamin' day we have to sign the nursery accident book on arrival due to bruises and bumps caused at home by ds1! Yesterday it was a fat lip from pushing him over onto the solid kitchen floor.

[fingerwoman]

I think you just need to keep going with saying NO very firmly and moving him away and then giving her a lot of attention.
it'll take time, but he'll soon tire of it (i hope)

[mytwopenceworth]

It is normal. It will stop in about 15 years.

He is 2, he is still a baby himself and it is just his feelings overwhelming him. Calm distraction might work. Scooping dd up after he's hit her might just lead to resentment. (kids are weird!) as could getting cross with him.

My ds2 got bashed constantly by ds1, then got big enough to bash back and then started bashing first and it went downhill from there

Seriously though, I know that horrible feeling - if it was any other person hitting your child you'd rip their head off, but is is your other child, who you love just as much, doing it....the conflicting emotions are awful!

I think distracting ds (not telling off, just shifting the focus), not moving dd, is the way to go.

[Mung]

I am waiting until she can turn and hit him back so he feels what its like. It wont be long as she is getting so fed up of it. Its just driving me crazy at the moment. It sounds like its driving you mad too Flibbertyjibbet... I hope DS2's lip is OK today.

[bubblagirl]

the scooping dd up would probably make him feel more jealous as this is probably why he is acting up

remove him from the situation tell him no in calm but firm voice and say that is naughty and place him in time out for 2 min no talking to him only to tell him why he is there when done say to say sorry to mummy if not talking make it a kiss and cuddle and then play altogether and try and give him some special time just him and mummy maybe when dd sleeping house work can wait

its probably a way of getting your attentin wether you mean to maybe you are interacting more with dd as she is learning new things and he is missing out on your time and is getting jealous just try and let him know what a great big brother he is and how helpful he is try to include him with helping you and definatly having some one on one at some point in day

[bubblagirl]

and make him kiss dd to say sorry so he knows that you say sorry when hurting somebody

[Flibbertyjibbet]

Thanks twopenceworth for that peek into my future

[Flibbertyjibbet]

No it doesn't drive me daft I just see it for what it is , a stage that will pass like all the other stages.
Looks like ds2 will be the bigger one in a couple of years though so no doubt thats when the fun will really start

[mytwopenceworth]

Always a pleasure