Little bit of background. I left my abusive husband a year ago with my daughter who was almost 3 and moved in with my mum. My husband’s behaviour was escalating and he finally pushed me out the family home and threatened my life. He was having a bit of contact with dd. I was traumatised and suffering with PSTD and tbh didn’t have a clue what was going on. He used dd to get to me so contact was stopped mid Dec. He has yet to file an application at court.
What I’m having difficulty with is dd’s behaviour. It’s getting progressively worse.
She is a few weeks away from her 4th birthday. She is very intelligent for her age, well she thinks she knows everything. She is busy and happy most of the time. When she is told no or asked to do something she gets so angry. She kicks me or my mum or kicks the wall, toys, whatever is close. She will come and scratch down your hand, say to you don’t you look at me, how dare you look at me. She gets herself so angry. It’s really horrible to watch. I try the naughty step, take treats away but she says sorry but will do it again. I have asked her what makes you angry and she just shrugs her shoulders. I guess she is too small to articulate what’s wrong. I’m guessing its all to do with her dad. She was only small when she heard him constantly shouting at me. I left him for her, I didn’t want her growing up witnessing all the aggression, the emotional and mental abuse.
I’ve tried my absolute best, I had a breakdown after I left him but I’ve tried so hard to be there for her. I feel like I’m letting her down and I don’t really know how to help her with her anger? I guess it’s directed at me because I’m the one who is here. I feel terrible for stopping contact with her dad but it was on the advice of my support specialists and it really was essential. All she remembers from her dad was he bought her a constant stream of toys and let her run free so I imagine she is not happy with me.
It’s so hard, I left to give her the best chance but she is clearly effected. How can I help her?
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Behaviour/development
Struggling with 4 year old daughters anger after I left abusive marriage.
6 replies
Fightingback16 · 16/05/2020 21:07
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