This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Highly strung child(6 Posts)
Anyone else with a highly strung child?
She’s 6 and I love her to bits but by god she’s hard work.
From the moment she wakes up she’s angry or upset about something - “I heard daddy in the shower” or “I didn’t dream what I wanted to” or “I’m sad you didn’t wake me up first”
And then this continues all day long.
“You shouldn’t have made me this for breakfast” and “I didn’t want it to be sunny today” and just constant issues, or problems or dramas.
She’s unkind to her smaller brother all day, bosses him round, makes him play her games and if he doesn’t want to then she’s crying and whinging and kicking up a fuss.
Even when she falls over a kerb for example she’ll scream “you shouldn’t have put that there” as though it’s my fault.
She’s so bossy and controlling that it’s hard to be around her. You can’t even have a joke with her as she “hates jokes”
In contrast she’s an angel at school, one of the top achievers in her class.
She was such a lovely, friendly, happy toddler. I just don’t know what’s happened.
At school she’s very very quiet and often gets bossed around as she won’t vocalise her thoughts and feelings. I wonder if her behaviour at home is to combat this?
Although she’s been off school for 5 weeks and it’s worse than ever.
It sounds like she really, really struggles with the unexpected, and with change. It's really common for girls with SN to "mask" at school, and be on their best behaviour, and then completely melt down at home where it's safe. Has she ever been assessed for any SN?
Oh Lordy!!!! Type A+ personality!
A few suggestions
Allow her access to a Big scrap book plenty of pens, pencils, art/ craft items - call it her feelings book so she can go to it when she is cranky and let it all out.
A few jars with slits in the lid ( like money boxes) Labelled my Angry jar, my worry jar’ my thankful jar etc... with a block note pad ( small squares) to write/ draw on a post Into the appropriate jar!
Ringfence some one on one time with her every day doing something that is totally focused on her ( eg painting her nails / mini massage reading a story to her ) make sure brother is asleep/ otherwise kept busy.
I'm inclined to agree with the PP who suggests it's a reaction to the unexpected. School might be easier as there are clear expectations and schedules. Maybe it will help to have a more structured day at home, where she has some input i.e. what she'd like for breakfast. And also describing her feelings for her - 'yes, it's frustrating that we can't control the weather, but that is how it is. '
We have been much more structured over the past couple of days and her behaviour has been much better.
We’ve also done a reward chart and she’s obsessed with trying to get stickers and then get a treat at the weekend.
I think she’s bored as she usually does a lot of after school activities and loves going to school.