My ds's behaviour has been particularly difficult over the last few months, and after an especially ghastly couple of days I feel totally drained and depressed; also he makes me so angry that I'm worried that I might do him some real physical violence.
When we were away recently he had major paddies nearly every day, which almost wrecked the holiday, and I find that however much I do for him, it's never good enough and he ends up being abusive towards me. I actually bought the How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen book before we went away after recommendations on here, but it doesn't work for me, and we always seem to get into terrible arguments.
The lowest point recently was on my one day off last week when I'd bent over backwards to arrange for his friend to come round (he only really has 3 friends & none had asked him to play all holidays - only one of them ever does invite him round regularly & they've now been put in separate classes to stop them disrupting lessons). We went to fetch his friend at 10.30-ish & he was with us until 3.30 when his mum picked him up, & although it was stressful for me, they'd had a nice time playing in the park, walking our new dog, eating home-made pizza, having a water fight and playing on the computer.
My dd, who's 11, has lots of friends, & 2 of them were round a bit later. Ds was desperate to join in with them as they were making a film with dd's digital camera - a present for her last birthday. However, dd didn't want this & I backed her up as I felt it was quite justified for her to want space. He just went mad, saying how it wasn't fair that he didn't have a digital camera etc etc, and I was furious as I felt I'd spent all day trying to make him happy.
That sort of thing seem to happen all the time: he can't see why his sister has privileges eg going to bed later, he's a terrible loser & always makes a big fuss, & he gets so angry, slamming doors, shouting, throwing things etc. The other week he locked himself in his bedroom & refused to open the door all night! I was beside myself as I only discovered this at midnight (I'd gone out earlier because of a row, but ds hadn't even noticed that he was still locked in his room ), & I hardly slept a wink that night for worry.
If you're thinking that I sound as though I don't like him very much, that's how I feel a lot of the time at present, which makes me feel guilty, and I also say things to him that I regret when he's upset me with hurtful remarks/behaviour. I know I was really challenging at his age & can recognise a lot of my own behaviour in him - which just makes me hate it even more. Please help - I'm in a mess!
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Behaviour/development
Help! My 8-year-old ds is driving me into an early grave (very long).
26 replies
overthehill · 03/09/2007 00:41
OP posts:
KerryMum ·
03/09/2007 00:47
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