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11 year old boy wearing nail varnish(7 Posts)
I popped out this afternoon leaving my very sensible 11 year old son at home. He called me not long after, very upset because he'd got nail varnish on him and couldn't get it off. I came straight home and he was rather upset. He said he'd put it on as a joke, but he'd have had to rummage for it because I don't wear it. Anyway, I took it off and told him he wasn't in trouble but that I'd like him to ask to use my things first. I also told him that it's ok if he wants to experiment or it's curious and I'll love him no matter what.
Since then, I've been tidying away and putting some ironing away and have noticed that one of my dresses that lives in the back of the wardrobe is at the front and hanging messy on the hanger. I asked him why my dress was in a different place and he said he doesn't know, he didn't touch it. He must have done.
What do I do now?
Don't do anything. It's not a problem.
My 13 year old son puts on nail varnish every Friday when he gets back from school, then takes it off again on Sunday night (not allowed nail varnish at school).
He also wore his sister's trousers on new year's day.
Fair enough that he should ask before taking your things though.
(My DS has his own nail varnish, bought with his birthday money)
I know it's not a problem (other than him going through my things without permission), I just don't want to get this wrong you know?
Just say 'if you want to try on someone else's things, it's polite to ask first. If I'm asked nicely, I usually say yes' in a general sort of way. Sounds very like my DS1 ...
It's funny but I think a lot of the issues surrounding sexuality and gender we have created ourselves. Example; I csn remember loving famous five books when I was a kid. Very old fashioned now but there's a 12YO girl in it who insisted on being addressed as a boy. I know I was a kid when i read but I never once even considered does this say anything about her sexuality or gender but just that it was what Enid Blyton intended to be... a child playing and exploring her world in a way she enjoyed and saw fit. In some children it WILL develop into something they identify with as an adult but when they're so young there's no need to fret or put a label on it IMHO. I think all you need to do as a parent is let him know that you couldn't really care less and support whatever he wants to do with his spare time as long as it's safe and legal and make sure that you're there as a safe space for him to express any feelings he has (which I'm sure you are doing) .... and maybe buy him some nail varnish so he doesn't have to pinch your's because that's just rude He'll be fine. The fact that you're being so sensitive already to his needs means he'll surely be confident in himself whatever he wants to do. Just remember he's still a kid and let him be that xx
Thank you. I do have a tendency to over worry. I've told him that I'll love him no matter what and I just want him to be safe and happy.