Desperate - 7 month old will not go to ANYONE

(4 Posts)
CinderellasSecrets Fri 17-Jan-20 21:56:35

My DD is 7 months old, she is ebf as she began refusing bottles from around 3 months, she also won't be held by anyone else including her dad without screaming and sobbing her heart out. I feel so horrible saying it but I am desperate for a break, I am supposed to be going back to work next month - I need to go back for my own sanity as well as for the money and I just don't see how I'm going to do it. We tried to leave her with my MIL and we got called back to come and get her almost immediately because she wouldn't stop crying and was extremely distressed. I love her so much but feel like I'm doing something very, very wrong at the moment, nobody I've spoken to seems to understand, they have all said that it's not normal and that their babies were not like this at all. My eldest was not like this at all, she was formula fed if that makes a difference but she would honestly go to literally any one and never had any separation anxiety at all.

Please can someone tell me if I need to worry, and if anyone has any advice on what to do I would be so grateful. I am so scared that I will never get a break and this is my life now.

OP’s posts: |
ReallyLilyReally Sat 18-Jan-20 14:40:42

I don't think its a sign that anything is wrong, or that you need to worry about her, but if its going to be an issue for you then it needs to be addressed.

Could you try easing her into it? Maybe have your DH hold her hand while you cuddle her? Or vice versa? Or you hold her, and he cuddles you both? Same with your MiL, get DD used to physical contact with her? Put her down on a playmat and both of you sit there with her?

Im sorry you're going through this, it sounds really tough. I don't think it's a sign that anything is wrong, just something you need to help her learn.

ArtistOfTheFloatingWorld Sat 18-Jan-20 19:59:25

Mine was similar, so you have all my sympathies. She's 1.5 now and much better, I think being able to walk/go places under her own stream and communicate a little bit has helped enormously. She's happy with her dad now, one set of grandparents and the nursery staff - all people she sees very regularly. She's also happy to go up to strangers and will smile at new people - just as long as they don't pick her up!

It is exhausting, and I don't think folk who've only had babies that are happy to be passed around really get just how draining it can be.

NewLevelsOfTiredness Wed 22-Jan-20 10:31:10

My DD got this at 8 months. I'm her dad and had started parternity leave about a month earlier while mum went back to work.It was exhausting being the only one who could hold her (especially as she'd grumble if I sat down with her too much, and hadn't begun crawling at all)

She would just about tolerate mum holding her only IF I wasn't nearby, and nobody else was allowed at all. At 9.5 months mum was deemed worthy to hold her on an equal basis again and she's even stayed a night at her gran's house with no issues. Still not overly keen on others holding her but it's still good progress in a short time!

Her oldest sister (my SD) apparently never had any issues of the sort and would happily let any old stranger carry her away from mum from day 1.

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