shy toddler

[anthemsinger2019]

Hi all! first time posting here, just looking for a little advice from anyone who can suggest ways i can help my son,
He's what i would call "slow to warm up" even from being very young (around 6 months old) he would show signs of anxiety whenever anyone came into the house, he'd cry relentlessly whenever my parents walked in, but would always calm down after a while.. he's worse with certain people, for example he's always been very content around my MIL (who has visited very regularly since birth) but anyone who hasn't seen him regularly seems to upset him.
He cries and buries his head in my neck when we go into my parents house and still clings onto me and wants me to follow him when we visit soft play (i should note that last time we went he seemed happy to play independently)
We've left him at my mum's house quite a few times for long periods and she says he settles down nicely after five or ten minutes, but the cross-over period of her coming to collect him is always very stressful, he'll cry from the second he sees her at the window, and recently he's started saying it's "too scary" and that he's "too shy"
it breaks my heart because he's such a lovely, funny, intelligent little boy, he just seems to have issues with social anxiety and how to cope with his situation changing, it's almost like it's too much for him to handle.. i'm starting to worry how he'll adapt to nursery/school life, he's fine around other kids, but can be a little shy at first, he's also very affectionate with other children, wants to cuddle and kiss them if he likes them, but gets upset if it is not reciprocated... anyone experienced anything similar? and how does this affect them when they get older?

[Tilly09]

Hi! Your lo sounds similar to my lg. Not sure on age as you didn’t state but my girl has just gone 3 in August and she is always labelled ‘shy’. Although I call it reserved or thoughtful. Look up introvert does your lo fit into that? My girl is a lot better with children than adults. She will just ignore an adult if they ask her name etc but children she won’t. She gets social anxiety even when I’m around and clings to me or won’t speak to someone she doesn’t know. She’s the type who goes to parties and won’t join in and dance or go on the bouncy castle etc until about 5 minutes before it ends she just starts getting used it. It’s not a bad thing if you think in a positive way she is very thoughtful and likes to suss the place and people out first. She too used to very kind and cuddle with other children she used to put her face under other girls faces , give them toys .. just wanted to be friends really but some didn’t like it and would pull faces or turn there back so it hurt me to think how she felt. However since starting pre school she has totally changed. The first month I was so scared they’d eat her alive. But she’s learnt to survive , girls push her and say mean things she just ignores them it’s not in her nature. But the real world is not all sunshine and rainbows I guess she has to see that.