Mean behaviour of 5 year old

[sleepoverrated]

I’ve recently had my daughters first parents evening and we were told that she can be a bit mean. She is very popular and plays nicely but if she doesn’t want to play with someone or if someone tries to join in and she doesn’t want them to she tells them to go away or that she’s not their friends/she doesn’t like them. Apparently it’s starting to upset some of the other girls in the class. She’s quite a control freak and does get anxious if situations aren’t going her way so I think this is also triggering it, along with being shattered from starting school! She can also lash out if she does feel she is being heard. We’re trying to speak to her about her behaviour but I thought maybe reading it as part of a story might help as she loves her bedtime story. Any recommendations on books about how words can also help others and how important kindness is? Other tips are also welcome xxx

[Mumof21989]

Hi. I have a shy daughter who finds sharing hard. She embarrasses me on playdates etc so I don't tend to have them as much now. She is well behaved in class but she's too shy and taking longer than others to learn the routine. I'm a little worried.

I honestly think in this country we start them too young for too many hours. I can't imagine how exhausting it is for 4 and 5 year olds to manage their emotions for all that time. They are in school with loads of children, constant demands and routine aswel as being surrounded by lots of other four and five year olds. It's horrible when you feel it's your child being the odd one. I have felt that way lately and it upsets me. I bet she is just struggling to handle all the chaos and feels overwhelmed when people interfere or get involved with what she's focused on. Yes her reactions are hurtful to others but I think the teacher needs to be consistent and remind her to be kind. As long as you also remind her it's important to be kind I'm sure she will grow out of it. I'm honestly not sure what they want from these kids at the moment. Mines too quiet. Yours is too mean. My friends little boy says violent stuff like I'm going to shoot you (power rangers and marvel fan) honestly It makes us as parents feel awful doesn't it. I hope she adjusts soon. I think she sounds overwhelmed xx

[sleepoverrated]

@Mumof21989 thank you so much for your reply. I think she’s overwhelmed too, so many rules for them to follow and people for them to please! Xx