8 month old weird behaviours and moans all day

(11 Posts)
Gicoh Thu 08-Aug-19 16:32:49

I am at a loss as to what to do for my 8.5 month old. She’s always been a very fussy baby, she has mild reflux (controlled with anti reflux milk and much better with age), and had surgery as a newborn but other than that healthy as far as I know. But lately (weeks for sure) it has got out of control. She is CONSTANTLY moaning and whining, constantly wants to be in my arms. When she was a bit younger, like 4-6ish months she would play on her mat by herself (we are independent play advocates) but since then she’ll rarely do that. She has to be sitting on me or next to me. Even when I’m sitting with her on her mat and playing with her she’s constantly moaning. Like nothing makes her happy!!!

Throughout the day just moaning.

She has an abundance of toys that are carefully curated for her (!) and placed strategically not too close not too far, we go for walks with my dog once a day, we go to a couple of classes a week (she doesn’t moan in the classes but she never cracks a smile), and the only time she is not moaning is when we sit outside but we live in a flat so have to go down to the communal gardens which isn’t always convenient or possible but I try.

So other than being outside or on my arms she’s moaning.

She’s now teething and we also recently started the little ones schedule which she’s adapted to well but she’s also rubbing her eyes and nose all the time which aren’t teething symptoms so I wonder what that’s about as well?

She also constantly when sitting on me throws herself back which started when we started doing row your boat and she loves doing it always smiling when she throws herself back but it’s so often and even when she’s eating and it’s hard to stop her and I don’t want to because she enjoys it so much.

She’s sitting up unaided but she was a ‘late starter’ - at 7 months (she had torticollis which meant she was delayed rolling over and therefore everything after is delayed).

What is wrong with her? What am I doing wrong? I am going spare!!!

So many points in my post so I’m sorry i just typed it all out as it is in my head.

Any advice, experience, suggestions on any of the above would be so appreciated!

OP’s posts: |
Gicoh Thu 08-Aug-19 16:57:25

Sorry I should add - she also when sitting rocks back and forth sometimes. Not obsessively but just gently back and forth.

She also sometimes is happy when we look at/read picture books but it’s hit and miss

OP’s posts: |
boomshakalak Thu 08-Aug-19 17:16:31

She sounds totally normal. Are you quite rigid with your structure? It sounds like maybe she's just not conforming to your ideas of how she should be?

All the things you have listed are normal for her age.

Gicoh Fri 09-Aug-19 12:37:10

No not rigid at all! None of the babies her age that I know moan constantly like she does, they’re happy babies, happy when they play and she’s not though....

OP’s posts: |
Snowpaw Sat 10-Aug-19 21:51:19

The moaning might just be frustration at trying to master a new skill? I have a 9 month old and she would get very whiney and moany for a few days / weeks but would come out of it the other side able to do something new usually, like moving in s didferebt way, crawling etc.

it’s pretty normal I think for them to want to be close to you a lot at this age, nothing to worry about.

Rubbing eyes and nose etc sounds like tiredness?

Haz1516 Sun 11-Aug-19 10:14:49

Rubbing eyes/nose could be tiredness. What are naps like? Most babies that age are still on 3 naps a day I think (depending on nap length).

Also how is her eating? There's a big growth spurt around 6 months.

MeadowHay Wed 14-Aug-19 19:58:51

Some babies are just like this OP. Mine was the same at that age except worse because she still cried and screamed a lot too, it wasn't just moaning! Was also very clingy at that age but started nursery at 8.5 months and became a lot less clingy gradually since she started there. It might have been coincidence with her age or it may have been nursery helping her be more independent maybe, not sure. Interestingly she is never moany or hardly cries at nursery!!!! hmm

Your DC will grow out of it, I know it is frustrating. DD is 14 months now and now we have tantrums, and lots of horrendous screaming STILL but that's just the way she is. The in-between times are better as she plays nicely by herself for ages now. I do have to follow her around constantly to make sure she's not getting up to anything dangerous like but it is lovely to see her play or for me to play with her. And I'm glad she doesn't just whine all the time any more and though she is still a screamer and now a tantrummer, it's not as bad as when she just cried and whinged all day long.

Also if she likes being out then get out as much as you can. My DD was/is the same and is usually better out so I just went/go with it.

Rubbing eyes is usually tiredness. Could also explain her whingyness. My DD used to rub her eyes ALL the time because she was permanently exhausted as she hardly napped. She naps much better now which I think is one of the reasons she is much happier! Could also be hayfever, the rubbing the eyes and nose, my DD gets hayfever.

Gicoh Wed 14-Aug-19 21:00:19

My LO cries and screams and tantrums a lot too! I held her all afternoon, put her down in her high chair for 10 mins so I could prepare her dinner and she lost it. Just exhausting. Glad I’m not the only one as every baby I know who’s her age is happy and plays nicely and my LO is the opposite 90% of the time! Feel like I’m just a bad mother and doing everything wrong sad gets me so down!

OP’s posts: |
Gicoh Wed 14-Aug-19 21:02:43

Haz1516 - she follows the little ones schedule - morning nap and 2 hour lunch nap. I think the afternoon is where she gets weary and rubs eyes more - maybe she still needs a short afternoon nap?

She’s almost 9 months (not 6), she still has 5 bottles a day and she eats 3 meals a day but baby led weaning so she eats what she eats, and will have more formula if she doesn’t eat so much at a meal. She leads the way on that front.

OP’s posts: |
MeadowHay Fri 16-Aug-19 22:20:59

You're not a bad mum. If you keep your eyes out you will notice that lots of people start threads on Mumsnet about babies like ours! I've started reading "Raising your Spirited Child" that was recommended to me by a mum friend who has two that were the same. Might be worth it for you to read when she's a bit older if she stays like this. She will be ok. If she's like my DD the older she gets the easier and better it gets. She can play lovely now by herself or with us for good periods of time now. Even at 9 months she couldn't really for more than a few mins at a time. I think the first 4 months went painfully slow and I was so anxious and hated most of it. Then the next time wasn't as bad and had more good points but still quite slow, then I went back to work when she was 9 months and the time has gone so fast ever since and is just going faster and faster all the time!

surreygirl1987 Tue 20-Aug-19 22:56:10

My boy was (and sometimes still is!) Just like this! He is definitely high needs/spirited. Odd coincidence - he also had torticollis!

He has always been the fussiest baby on the block. However he's been much happier the last few months and is now 10 no the old. He does, however, go through whingy and whiny phases. I now think this is when he is going through a mental 'leap' (the wonder weeks - I used to think this was stupid but now I'm a total convert as it's been so accurate for my boy) and trying to learn a new skill. Hang in there!

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