Help Biting 2 year old, any suggestions?

[Franniban]

I came home from work yesterday to hear that dd had bit a chunk out of ds arm. Dh gave her the telling off of her life, but I'm worried about it, and she starts pre school in September. Any suggestions on how to know this on the head?

[Twiglett]

sharp NO / NO BITING .. put her down / or remove to another place and ignore her

every single time

[FillydoraTonks]

she is very little

I don't think there IS much you actually can do at this age. Tell her off by all means (tbh at the younger end of 2 I think this is needed as much for the bitee as the biter, who will want some confirmation that they have been Wronged) but she is very young and it will take time to sink in.

I have so much sympathy here. I think people get massively worked up over little kids biting, far more than, say, hitting with toys which is potentially much more dangerous and I honestly don't get why.

(I should say, as I always do, that my kids have never bitten. And I am bloody thankful for that, I don't see it as a result of my fabulous parenting or anything)

[NotQuiteCockney]

Oh, severe biting can be a health risk, and it's just unsettling ... it looks like they're going in for a kiss and a cuddle, and then there's blood and a nasty mark.

But yes, this is normal at two. I would do removal, and try to not make a fuss.

I'd also try to work out what the triggers are, realise what she looks like when she's going for it, and try to head her off at the pass, iyswim.

[FillydoraTonks]

yes but can a 2 yo do that level of biting? MY two yo couldn't, I don't think.

[alison222]

Yes Filly a two year old can draw blood - I have seen one do it to my DD.

It is normal though.

You need to find the triggers - ie they only do it when itred, or if they are fighting over a particular toy or whatever, and keep a special eye that way and remaind them as they go near to the other child not to bite, and ifthey do remove them sit them by themselves and give all your attention the the child that has been bitten. Eventually they get it.

[NotQuiteCockney]

I've seen it at the co-op - it's all two-year-olds there. (Neither of mine ever managed it, or even much of a bruise, tbh.)

[FillydoraTonks]

oh jesus

i stand corrected then. have never seen such a thing!

but i do feel that parents of biters, or kids who lash out generally, come in for a lot of stick, and that makes me .

[KITTENSOCKS]

There can be quite a severe bruise with quite well defined teeth marks.
If the bite was the result of a dispute over a toy or a sweet, say, the bitten child should be given those in full view of the biter and made a fuss of, while the biter is placed in 2 mins time out with a stern warning 'No! You do not bite!" As Twiglett says, every time without exception. One day the consequences of biting will become clear and it will become less frequent and stop.
And always demand the biter apologises to the bitee.
This always worked at my DS day nursery.

[NotQuiteCockney]

They do, and the stick doesn't help.

Franniban, you may be reassured to know, my DS2 bit, but only DS1 or me or DH. Keeping it in the family is less stressful, really.

[FillydoraTonks]

like i say i don't have a biter

but obv my kids have hit etc on occasion.

I don't do a big reaction, actually. I talk to them and find out what is wrong.

I ask for an apology on the grounds that it will make victim feel better but don't DEMAND it (they alway have apologised)

But they do KNOW that they have done something outwith the bounds of social convention. They KNOW that biting, hiting etc is unacceptable. Kids are very sensitive to this and they do want to fit in. This behaviour is symptomatic of a loss of control more than anything.

I think the big thing here is to keep the dialogue open and NOT to start labelling them as a "biter/hitter/etc" - because then they WILL be.

Neither of mine are trainee borstal kids, btw.

[Franniban]

Thanks everyone, I think a lot of it is frustration, and the terrible twos. No biting this week, lets hope that phases out over the summer before she starts pre school.

[NAB3]

My 2 year old has bit his brother and his dad today. I think it was cross because he couldn't have what he wanted.

[Franniban]

checked out ds arm, and there is still a bite shaped bruise on his arm, poor sod. She is so willfull. I'm guessing this is girl thing.

[Franniban]

the willfullness that is!