Son refusing his swimming lessons

[joancassied]

Hi
My son is almost 4 years old and starting school in the next term. We have been attending parent- child swimming lessons for about 9 months and he was doing really well and his confidence soared. But in the last month or so of these lessons he wasn't listening and just doing his own thing swimming around and not actually participating in the lesson. So I decided to swap to the pre school lessons where I no longer get into the pool with him to see if this would help. The first lesson was amazing, he listened to the teacher and did almost everything that was asked of him I was so proud and thought I'd done the best thing for him. However the next week he refused to get in the pool full stop and this has happened the last 3 lessons now.
I just don't know what to do. I don't want to go back to the parent-child lessons as he wasn't benefiting from them at all in the end and of course I don't want him to go backwards. I would really appreciate any advice; it is really important to me that he learns to swim as early as possible as I never learned properly and it's a fear I've lived with all my life.

[smallgreyelephant]

I wonder if your DS simply prefers your presence (and why not!) and is demanding that you go back to time together. If he could cope so well the first time, I'm sure that he can do so again. Can you promise him (bribe) with some reward/ kids nature magazine/ lego figure if he can be a big boy and show you how amazing he is again. Or agree to have mum & DS time in the pool on another occasion if he does his lesson. Or can someone else take him?

Don't let your fear of water take over or influence him. You may be in awe of his initial confidence. But you are BOTH capable of this. Please check out adult swim lessons. There are lots of places for adults to learn. It's never too late. It's not embarrassing. It's a great thing to share with your kids.
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[joancassied]

Hi thank you so much for taking time to reply. I have thought about going back to the parent-child lesson but as I have said I am reluctant to do so but it's defiantly an option going forward if that is something he prefers.
I have tried the bribery route which gets him to pool side and then he still refuses to go in.
And I know I should take up adult lessons myself it is something I have contemplated many times but I suppose my fear had always gotten the better of me.

[Rachelover40]

He will have swimming lessons when he goes to school and won't refuse to go in the pool without you then. It's good that he is swimming around, doing his own thing, at his age.

[Middledistancerunner]

Honestly I think four is really very young for swimming lessons - where we are ALL the children are in them, except mine.
I take mine swimming weekly, we have fun, they are ‘water confident’. Sometimes they wear armbands, sometimes not, they know their limits. They can climb out of the pool. They many not be as advanced as some of their peers, but when they are ready to listen in lessons I will send them. What’s important is they are safe in water and happy to try.
As you have already been bloody brave to overcome your fears to take your ds swimming could you continue doing it with him informally? Try the formal lessons again when he is older?

FWIW I was a competitive club swimmer who didn’t start lessons until I was seven. My mum took me to the pool monthly until then, she hated the water and couldn’t swim herself. It’s one of the many things my mum did for me that amazes me, I wish I was more like her.
Not learning formally till seven didn’t hold me or my siblings back.