My son prefers my husband

[Beingmum2]

Hi all,

I'm looking for a little guidance or reassurance. My son is 15 months old. He has always been a very difficult baby. He cried what felt like constantly until around 12 months. He had reflux and they think CMPA. Since around 12 months he has had a very strong preference for my DH. He will reach out to him if I'm holding him, he goes to DH for comfort, he isn't overly interested in me at all. He is also like this with his grandad too, always prefers to be with him. It's distressing and difficult to deal with but I try not to let it affect me too much as I know it's not his fault. Has anybody else experienced this?

[Playitagainsam]

My DS was exactly the same so I know exactly how you feel. Everyone said it was a phase but it went on for a long time! He’s now 3 and whilst he does still have a bit of a preference for my DH, it’s not to the exclusion of me anymore and he shows that he loves me too. It is super hard but all you can do is carry on being there, don’t let him see that it bothers you and he will come back out of it at some point.

[Beingmum2]

Thanks a lot @Playitagainsam! I'm glad it got better for you, fingers crossed my son will be the same. I think the thing I struggle with is understanding why. I wonder whether it's me or I'm not a good mother :(

[Playitagainsam]

Oh I went through all that doubt too, it wasn’t a good birth and I struggled for a while, plus he was a really unsettled baby, endless screaming for hours every day and night, so I worried that I hadn’t bonded with him properly. And of course everyone was telling me about how all boys love their mums but mine was totally disinterested in me! I have no idea why he was like that, but my DD who had always been my number one fan as a baby and toddler just randomly dropped me in favour of my MIL aged 2! She went right off me for a few months even though nothing had changed! So I know it’s nothing to do with how good the bond is, it’s just one of those things. A very painful and upsetting thing for those of us on the other end but it will sort itself out.