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How to properly discipline a stubborn 5 year old and 3 year old(3 Posts)
Just after some advice. I have a 5 year old and 3 year old and they don't really listen to me most of the time. They are good kids really. They don't cause any trouble at school, they don't hit other kids and are kind and caring. However, they are quite energetic very adventurous independent girls. They run ahead and climb on things so obviously if it's things they shouldn't be doing I tell them not to. I tell them not to do things or tell them off if they argue etc just the usual things you tell kids not to do I guess but they just don't pay any attention to me. My 3 year old usually laughs or tells me no and the 5 year old gives me attitude. She is like a teenager already. What can I do to help the situation? I hate shouting at them and it does nothing. My neighbour who is quite close to me and the girls asked me if id ever got my eldest tested for ADHD because she gets that bad sometimes. Myself and my neighbour had to carry her from her house once because she got that hyper and wouldn't listen to anyone. She wasn't crying or anything she was laughing and when we got outside I had to pull her off her. Fortunately she isn't like this alot and never at school. Any tips on how to handle them ignoring me and/or how to keep calm?
Hi, no parenting expert here but I found 2 things were important for my lot - first, if you say no to something but they do it anyway, don't just let it go. Because then they can't distinguish between when it is a small "no" (is prefer you not to do it but I don't mind too much if you do, like climb a rail) and I mean it "no" (that is absolutely not ok). So maybe decide whether something is important enough to say no about and then follow through with a sanction if ignored, otherwise I think it can become like white noise to them (I have been guilty of this myself!!) And second is reward stickers. My 2 love stickers.
I also find that "hyper" behaviour is linked with sugar and tiredness. My nearly 5 year old starts getting silly when he is tired and if he is really tired he used to end up when he just couldn't be reasoned with and then we would have tears. I would try to run interference when I saw him getting over tired, like leaving a party or group 10 mins early as I could see he was about to go loopy!! You could also always tell when he has just had a sugary treat, although I must say he has calmed down in the last 6 months.
I don't know if any of that helps - it sounds like your 2 are pretty good does your neighbour have children? Think people sometimes think ADHD quickly but it often isn't the case - as a teacher I find it is pretty obvious when a child is ADHD and if her school hasn't flagged anything up I wouldn't be too concerned if it was me (again no expert!!)
Stickers never worked for mine, too impulsive and/or stubborn.
What did work was
a) making sure they didn't get to carry on the unwanted behaviour, even if that meant physically lifting them away or going home
b) not losing my temper
c) chalking it down as a victory if the unwanted behaviour stopped (even if that was because I stopped it) even if they showed "attitude"
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