14 month old not pointing :(((

[Aaliah1234]

Hi all,

My DS is 14 months old but is still not pointing. To be honest I haven’t been practising this with him and I don’t know if I am supposed to or is he meant to learn it all by himself.

He can walk, wave, say a few words (hello, bye bye, oh oh, mama, good night). He can count in English up to 10 and up to 3 in a foreign language (probably doesn’t know what counting really is but he can say them). He sings to his nursery rhymes (actually sings them pretty well). He has started to sing ABCs.

He can pretend play as well. He isn’t around other children a lot so when I do take him to Gymboree or cousins house, it’s a hit or miss. Sometimes he would go to them to get a toy but mostly plays on his own. Now I don’t know what normal play is at this stage. Is he meant share toys (because he won’t and neither would his cousins) or run around with the other children?

Also, he doesn’t try to grab my attention when he does something and neither does he bring any toys to me (or things he might find interesting). He does however feed me raisins lol.

I’m getting really worried. I was worried when he was 12 months about pointing but gave it more time. Now he’s 14 and still doesn’t point.

Also, he loves pulling my hair. He will stroke it and fall asleep and pull it when angry.

Thanks all

[rainingcatsanddog]

Pointing is not a big deal imo. Does he communicate his needs in other way? For example if you held a cup in each hand and asked him which he wanted would he point or say which one? If he didn't reply to the question would you lift one up and ask "This one?" And see if he nodded/shook his head? If you the question like that then he doesn't have to point to get what he wanted.

If you pointed at a toy and asked him to bring it, would he understand? If so, he understands pointing but perhaps you are anticipating his needs so doesn't have to do it himself. You might have to pretend you don't know what he wants so he points.

[rainingcatsanddog]

At his age, parallel play (playing next to another child) is expected. It can be a time where antisocial behaviour like grabbing or hitting can occur so you need to watch out for that. He's also at the start of learning to take turns. Easy in a slide situation (assuming all kids are going down only) but harder when it's a toy that's not for everyone like a car. Lots of distraction in the latter situation (!!)

[Aaliah1234]

If point at a toy and ask him to bring it he would. Sometimes he doesn’t. He doesn’t nod.

In the two cups scenario he wouldn’t tell me which one. No nod nothing. I will give it another go tomorrow though.

I tried to play with him today and he quite liked it. He brought me his car so I could push it. I put a toy on his arm and he couldn’t take it out so I told him to come to me to take it out and he did. He rarely asks for help e.g if he has toy stuck under the sofa and is out of reach he would try to get it and if he fails he would cry. He wouldn’t come to me to take it out. Although today he did look at me when it was stuck.

:/

[Aaliah1234]

He would play next to other children but not with them.

[rainingcatsanddog]

Playing with others the same age is a much later stage (more like 3 years old)

It sounds like he has reasonable comprehension. Doing things sometimes sounds like typical toddler stubbornness. He sounds fine to me but if you're worried, could you talk to your HV?

[Aaliah1234]

Thank you. Yes I will definitely. I’ve lost sleep over this so I think for my own sanity I will.

I was just looking over some videos of him from last week. He is playing with his cousin with the same toy and then strokes his hair and follows him around.