Lost my temper with my nearly two year old :(

[Welshrock01]

I feel so awful and im worried ive scarred my 23 month old child for life. He was crying loudly because id asked him to do something (put something back hed moved) before we went out. He refused and starting crying loudly. I was stubborn (my first mistake) and he was getting a bit hysterical. I completely lost it, i cuddled him way too tightly. Put him down and he started crying again. Then i screamed (no words) in his face, it must have been terrifying for him and he wailed and sobbed. I hugged him and said im sorry and why. But the guilt is eating me up. He wasnt even doing anything that bad at all. Maybe he didnt even understand what i was asking him and he just wanted to go down stairs and he must have known the hug was aggressive :(. Have i caused him damage? my mother passed away recently from cancer. It isnt an excuse. But ive been lost ever since. And now ive hurt the one thing i truly love and cant stop crying.
Will he be okay? I dont want him to suffer from anxieties. This has happened once before but it was a scream due to pain (not at him) as he stood my sprained wrist.

[nowifi]

Don't beat yourself up sounds like you are going through a lot at the moment and your son won't remember a thing, so sorry about your Mum

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

So sorry to hear about your DM @Welshrock01. It’s not ideal but none of us are ideal parents, we all make mistakes and you’ve done the important thing of realising you’ve fucked up and apologised.

How are you getting on yourself? Have you had any grief counselling? Are you getting any time for yourself?