Hi everyone,
I’m so so worried about my little toddler, I feel sick and I’m driving myself crazy. My lovely little girl is 2.4, and has very limited speech. She can say the odd word, but not consistently, and never puts words together. These words are often repeating what we say rather than saying it unprompted (Although this happens occasionally). She also used to say a bit more, sing a couple of nursery rhymes etc, but seems to have stopped this in the last few months. I’d kind of been vaguely concerned, but figured she’s really well developed in other areas - great motor skills, eating great, sleeping great, tall for her age etc, and was telling myself toddlers develop at different rates with different things etc and this was just something she was a little behind on. Anyway.... we took her for her two year check up last week, and the HV seemed really concerned: not just about the speech, but about as she called it “speech regression”. She then started asking questions about lack of eye contact, noise, etc etc. To be honest, she wasn’t that polite about it. Me being so naive, it was only when we got out of this meeting and reflected on it that I realised she was asking a lot of questions about autism. It had honestly never crossed our mind before as her behaviour apart from this seems so (hate this word) normal. She said she wouldn’t refer to a SALT yet as it’s too early, but we are getting her hearing checked and she wants to see her again in 3 months.
I’ve since been googling signs of autism in toddlers and I’m worrying myself sick. It’s hard when googling things as you kind of then look out for stuff that fits (like if you google any illness, you end up thinking you’ve got it don’t you!!). As well as the speech delay and speech regression, I’m now worried about the following in addition:
- often doesn’t respond to her name
- eye contact: great when she’s on my knee or right next to me, but when she’s playing she doesn’t look around for me/ try to engage me. Very little eye contact with anyone outside our immediate family.
- she doesn’t follow my point, just looks at my finger
- she’s not great at pointing to things to communicate to me (although will gesture towards food she wants/ try to grab it/ gets my hand and puts it on something she wants me to open etc, so whilst she doesn’t actually point she does do some non verbal communication and I kind of figure out what she wants)
- I do try and engage with her lots on the floor when she’s playing, and sometimes she’ll play with me (roll a ball to each other, stack cups together, put things on my head and laugh etc), and other times she won’t and she’ll entertain herself and not really acknowledge that I’m there (generally when she’s looking at a book, playing with a toy etc). It does sometimes feel like she’s in her own little world
- I have seen her walk on her tiptoes, although the majority of time she doesn’t.
But then, I’m not sure it is autism as I don’t see much/ any of the following:
- Tantrums: she’s quite chilled out and generally quite smiley (a lovely little girl) and tantrums are quite infrequent
- Textures: she’s great with different textures, food/ touch etc, I’ve not noticed anything unusual at all
- Cuddling: she flipping loves being cuddled by me or her Dad (Although will wriggle out of it if she’s not in the mood) but mostly loves it, and initiates it a lot herself too, always coming for a cuddle, likes to be cuddled to sleep and stares at us smiling (my favourite part or the day)
- Rituals: I’ve not really noticed anything like this, lining things up or whatever. Also we have quite a loose routine which changes loads and she seems fine with that
- Stims (is that what they’re called?). No hand flapping or anything like that. She does run around in circles a bit, but not for long periods, and I figured that was just a typical toddler thing?!
- She copies off gestures like will high five or will clap when I do. (Although I’ve been trying to teach her to point and that’s not really working!)
- Noises: she’s fine with loud noises
- This sounds ridiculous: it feels like she understands everything. She’s not staring blankly into space, more that she just seems engrossed in things/ whatever she’s looking at.
I’ve totally worked myself up by googling all this stuff, and I’ve been crying a LOT (I think more than I’ve cried ever). She’s gorgeous and healthy and happy and that’s all that matters to me, it doesn’t make any difference to me. However, I do worry for her future happiness if she IS on the spectrum (ability to make friends etc) and that’s why I can’t stop crying.
Argh, I’d soooo appreciate any advice! What do you guys think? Should I be worried or is any of this just standard toddler behaviour?! Could it just be a communication delay or do you think it definitely points to autism? Any tips? I love her so flipping much! Xxx