Why is my baby such hard work!??

[DodecahedronCat]

I have a beautiful 11mo DS.
I love him dearly.
But he is SUCH hard work!
I’ve got a lot of friends with babies similar ages and none are like him.
He needs constant attention, he can play on his own for about 2 mins maybe 1-2times a day if I’m lucky. The rest of the time he is SHOUTING (not crying) at me if I’m not playing with him.
He protests by shouting “nonononono” at everything - nappy change, face and hands wiped, getting in car seat, pram, dangerous objects taken off him , often just for no apparent reason.
He won’t sit in his high chair - always trying to stand up and climb out.
Hardly eats anything - mostly only eats fruit. Won’t let you feed him (I did BLW so not bothered about this ). Can use a spoon perfectly but chooses to throw the spoon across the room all the time.
Fights all naps so you have to rock him or walk about with him for at least 30 mins before he’ll fall asleep.

He loves books but won’t finish one- just points at new books and throws his previously selected one aside.

Basically I just don’t understand why he can’t be more placid - my friends babies or the same age will sit in a high chair and eat food without trashing the place or shouting or throwing. In fact my friends babies will sit on a picnic blanket and eat a meal.

I am exhausted. Any advice on managing him welcome .

[DodecahedronCat]

Also he will not be left with anyone but my DH. He screams if I even walk out of the room

[crimsonlake]

Every child is different, although I do not think any 11 month old's can entertain themselves.

[rainingcatsanddog]

I agree. Most 11 month olds aren't entertaining themselves - especially if they aren't mobile.
As a mum of 3, temperament is in the DNA imo. I have raised my kids the same and they ranged from angry whirlwind to as chilled out as a gentle breeze.

[DodecahedronCat]

He’s very mobile - been crawling since 6months and walking for the past couple of weeks. He’s into everything! I guess I just wanted someone to tell me how to calm him!

[Lightsong]

I can't tell you how to calm him but I can sympathize, it's so exhausting having to be the entertainment 24/7.

My DS is 16m and exactly as you describe, even the way he enjoys saying 'nonono' to absolutely everything, even when he clearly means yes! Hates his pushchair & the car seat, hates being restrained in a highchair and is very vocal about his hate for it. There's no way I could sit with a cup of tea or anything and watch him play for ten mins. My DS also enjoys grabbing me by the hand and taking me into another room to point out some random object, to which I have to say 'Ooooooo' along with him. He does this many, MANY times per day.

I have an older DD and she was much less hard work as a baby & toddler, she became hard work at about 3 so I am hoping this means DS will chill out a bit when he reaches that age. DS is just lucky that he's so cute so he gets away with it.

[ElyElyOy]

My son is the same: and all I ever get when I go out is people saying “ooh, he’s a handful!” - yeah cheers mate, I’m fully aware!

I just try and tire him out (soft play, park) and walk him miles in his pushchair. I also let him crawl/toddle about wherever he is (even though that means going up and down the stairs 4500 a day). I’m fortunate that he will go to anyone though, so I visit people and they entertain him for half an hour while I have a coffee or something! I also let him eat some meals in front of in the night garden, he seems to settle a bit then and actually eats (rather than sweeping it on the floor or rubbing it in his eyes!)

[DodecahedronCat]

ElyElyO yes I try the tiring out thing but it’s so exhausting!
I’ve never been so skinny with all the breastfeeding and then walking miles every day with him! I take him to the park nearly every day, swimming once a week, soft play most days. I used to take him to loads of baby groups but he’s at a funny age where he’s to boisterous for the baby ones and literally just crawls about over the other babies or uses chairs as walkers or goes into peoples handbags. I think he’d enjoy more active classes but they all start at 18months so I’m just waiting for them when i can try baby Gym and Forest School which both aound like good things to tire him

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I can fully sympathies OP. My DS was very much like this. I agree with trying to tire him out. Swimming is great, can you go more than once a week? The park is great too. We are lucky enough to have a communal paddling pool nearby, which is great but very busy. If he’s crawling, try setting up a bit of an obstacle course for him?

You have my sympathy though. My DS was very much like this. Tiring him out really helped, other things that helped were trying to be more calm myself (I think I was an over anxious FTM), doing relaxing activities like baby massage before bed and going out with my friends, both in the day with him and at night without him

It does get easier OP.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Oh and if he’s nap is a prob,em, have you read the No Cry Nap Solution?