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My childminder wants to give his 2 year report to the health visitor

(18 Posts)
squarecorners Tue 13-Mar-18 10:01:52

I don't think I want her to do this but she seems to think it's a requirement. The report contains a lot of personal information about my child and I don't particularly want it shared with the health visiting team, because I'm just private about my family and I don't want that information being known.
Is the childminder bullshitting me or is that really a requirement?

PeapodBurgundy Tue 13-Mar-18 10:06:26

She can't share anything without your permission. We don't even have a HV any more and DS is by some twist of fate still developing perfectly well 🙂

Twofishfingers Tue 13-Mar-18 11:16:08

Two year check should be about the development of the child.

If there are issues about the development of your child, it may be better to share it with the HV so that various support systems be put in place? Waiting lists tend to be very long, if say your child struggles with speech development, it might be better to talk about it with health visitor and go on a waiting list for speech therapy as it may take up to 9 months before seeing someone.

squarecorners Tue 13-Mar-18 12:23:04

He doesn't have any developmental issues as far as is apparent, certainly not any that the health visitor would be able to refer on. I don't really think I would ask them for any help, they seemed very patronising to me when I had regular visits.

Bejeena Tue 13-Mar-18 16:35:49

What has it got to do with the childminder? At 2 he isn't compulsory school age, doesn't have to go to childminder so s/he has no place to comment on your child's development.

Or am I missing something?

Twofishfingers Tue 13-Mar-18 16:41:05

you are missing something :

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic Tue 13-Mar-18 19:12:24

Seems like that’s what she should be doing then smile

Twofishfingers Tue 13-Mar-18 21:31:29

I'm a childminder and routinely do this. We've all received guidance and training for this. I do it for all 2 year olds, sometimes I wait until they are 2.5 if they have only been with me for a short while so that I have enough evidence to 'back up' my statements. I can't really see how it includes personal details of a family though, it's a standard format and it's about how the child is developing against the Early Years Foundation Stage framework. So basically in physical development, can he/she walk, run, skip, hold a spoon, transfer objects from one hand to the other, hold a brush/pen, build sandcastles, use playdoh, whatever. And includes an estimated age bracket (very loose) so say, language skills is that of a child between 24-30 months, etc.

squarecorners Tue 13-Mar-18 22:50:19

She's sent it to me and it refers to things like that he shows care for me above other people (duh I'm the person he spends most time with, but I disagree with that, he's a very caring and affectionate little boy in general), it also said I was "bribing" him to potty train, which I think is unfair - he has a sticker chart and he gets a small toy when he has enough stickers (like a car or a gun of play doh). It's just the tone that it's written in unsettles me, and I think she's fixated on odd things, like that he's not interested in songs or story time at the playgroup they go to. I personally believe he's not interested in stories because the book is too far away from him to see the pictures, they're boring stories or they're not doing voices like I do, or just telling the story in a patronising tone, which he doesn't like. I also think he doesn't like songs because he's tone deaf, but you can't fix that so why bother including it?

squarecorners Tue 13-Mar-18 22:51:41

A tub of play doh, don't know what you would do with a gun of play doh.

Twofishfingers Wed 14-Mar-18 07:12:59

I am not sure what to say. Her comments may not seem fair to you, but there is no need to take them too personally. Wait until you see school reports then.

She is reporting what she sees. It's her job.

squarecorners Wed 14-Mar-18 07:30:23

But school reports don't get shared amongst other services. That's my issue. If she wants to say that stuff to me, fine, fair enough, but I don't think my local authority has a right to know those things.

PeapodBurgundy Wed 14-Mar-18 09:45:38

So tell her you don't want it sharing. None of it is mandatory x

BarbarianMum Thu 15-Mar-18 07:45:35

Using bribery is a time honoured method of potty training (we used jelly tots). And however generally caring he may be it would be very strange if his strongest bond wasn't to you as his mother and main carer.

You don't have to allow the report to be shared, that's your choice but you equally don't need to feel judged about things that are perfectly normal.

Twofishfingers Thu 15-Mar-18 08:14:33

info accumulated at school may be shared with social services, gp, occupational therapists, psychologist if your child would have to be assessed for special educational needs.

It's up to you not to sign, but to be honest I think you are making a storm in a tea cup.

Witchend Thu 15-Mar-18 09:07:05

it also said I was "bribing" him to potty train, which I think is unfair - he has a sticker chart and he gets a small toy when he has enough stickers
That's precisely bribery. Great isn't it?

Mind you it didn't work with dd2. I used to give dd1 1/4 chocolate button per wee.
Dd2 had such good control she'd squeeze it out 3 drops a time and collect her reward each time.

What she's written seems fine. It's factual. Lots of 2yos won't be interesting in story time at the library and it's way too soon to write him off as tone deaf. If she'd written he was tone deaf that would be opinion and not fair, but to say he isn't interested is perfectly fine, assuming it's true.

BarbarianMum Thu 15-Mar-18 09:24:17

Oh and ds1 used to try and leave the room during song time at our playgroup (literally, through the windows) -he now plays 2 instruments and is in a choir. It may be that your ds's not tone deaf, maybe he's highly musical and can't bear the racket. smile

Twofishfingers Thu 15-Mar-18 09:31:56

About bribery, I'm a childminder and in my last OFSTED inspection when the inspector asked me what my behaviour management included the first thing I said was 'bribery'. I bribe them with stickers, special playtime, a movie at the end of the week, etc. She said 'great, that's very positive' and noted it in my report. Bribery is fine, I potty trained all my children using chocolate buttons.

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