my kids are petrified of dogs - any ideas to get them over it?

[hermykne]

they play imaginary dog games! thats the ironic thing but they jump into my arms or cling on if one approaches.
my mother has 2 and they have to be kept indoors if we're outside or v/v . nightmare.

anyway getting fed up about it now so are there any tips on to overcome the fear
they are 4 1/2 and 2 +9mths

[hermykne]

anyone?

[onlyjoking9329]

sorry no tips from me i have 12 year old twins who are exactly the same.

[DUSTIN]

Where I work we have started a programme with a child who is terrified of dogs. He was 1st introduced to a puppy and when he was ok with (after a few weeks) he was introduced to a friendly small adult dog so that his confidence was gradually built up. You could try contact a local animal shelter and seeing if they would be willing to help you with this.

[coffeepot]

Hermykne, I was like this as a child, and
it was a nightmare. I didn't learn to cope with it until I was a teenager. I've worked very hard
to stop my dd developing the same fear (I'm still nervous about dogs and I was worried she would pick up the fear from me). When she was smaller she was terrible but I had a sustained campaign, locating a lot of quiet, well behaved dogs for her to get to know. Avoiding bouncy or noisy dogs like the plague until her confidence increased. I have friends who have a dog who is completely soft - just like a fluffy hearth rug, and wonderful with children. She made friends with it. I found lots of opportunities for her to walk well behaved dogs and had a major 'dogs are nice (but always check with the owner first)' propaganda campaign. It worked. Unfortunately she now wants a puppy - and I am still nervous of dogs!

[coffeepot]

Sorry - took so long composing that that Dustin got there first.

[BrownSuga]

could you get a puppy? my mum was terrified of dogs after seeing her sister attacked as a child, so to stop us being fearful, she got us a puppy so we were used to being around them. Or could you borrow ONE of your mums for days here and there, take it for walks, put it's food out etc... all those normal pet things, so they get used to it.

I have noticed TBH a LOT of english kids are afraid of dogs. I take ours for a walk, (mini schnauzer and loves people) and every kid we go past, sidles past her almost wetting themselves, with me going, it's ok, don't worry, she just wants to say hello. I don't know why that is, I just find it strange.

[MrsGumby]

I got bitten by a dog over Easter (DS was there at the time, thank Christ it wasn't him) but for a few days after the event he kept recoiling from dogs. Whilst I'm not a dog lover myself, I don't want him to develop a phobia. I've been telling him that not all dogs are naughty, and I've found that the "Hairy Maclary" series of books is great because they depict really happy, friendly dogs. Seems to have done the trick because he's been much better this week.

[Whizzz]

Ditto the other messages about finding someone with a nice (small) dog so they can get to know it & feel a bit happier.
Its probably not too much of a bad thing if they are a bit wary of dogs - as I have seen kids in parks rush up to dogs to pat them - which obviously isn't such a good idea.

[CS1753]

My ds loved dogs until one gave him a warning - this involved a growl and holding his arm in his mouth, no damage except a scratch where my ds pulled his arm out. No-ones fault my ds sneaked up on the dog and the dog didn't know what was happening. After that my DS was really nervous of dogs but we have come out the other end - I just kept re-affirming that if you respect the dog then it will respect you. He is not allowed to approach a strange dog unless the owner says OK, always let the dog have a sniff first and at 3 he already knows some of the behavoural warning signs.

[lucyellensmum]

without being trite, its simple, get them a dog!!!! from a puppy of course, but thats in the ideal world and dogs are ALOT of work but it might be worth considering if you think one would fit in with your family. Are your mums dogs not able to be more involved? Of course nervous children with unaccustomed dog is not a good idea, so cute wee pup it is then. Just a thought, probably not a good idea, its only cos i want a dog so much just now, been just over a month since my dog died and this is the longest in my life that i have been without one but its not practical for us just now. So i'm like a mad old lady when i see dogs out and about stop and stroke them all, DD loves dogs. She has expressive language delay but she used to bark really well at ours!

[hermykne]

NO I WONT GET A DOG. GARDEN NOT big enough and i hate the routine of one.
i am not a dog person.

my mothers dogs are very badly trained.
they dont sit when told,
they bark incessantly when you arrive at the house and flossie jumps all over u. they are hyped.

my mil's summer house in spain is where we are going on hols and a new neighbour just moved in next door, hes got a jack russell whos on the roam, there is a shared communal pool where he lets the dog go. so i am preemptingthe kids wil just freeze when they become aware he's there.
its a pain in the arse basically.

but thanks for your ideas
i like the animal shelter one and the hairy mclary books ideas .

[Gobbledigook]

Hmm, my kids are terrified of dogs so I'll get a dog. Er. No.

[southeastastra]

my ds(5) is the same. i did a thread the other week here

he thinks they'll all eat him

[auntiflo]

DS, 12yr was so scared and DD's very wary of dogs that we bit the bullet and got a puppy! Best move we ever made, 6mths later and they all adore dogs and know how to behave around them confidently, they've learnt dog language! He, the dog is now a fully fledged family member and we wouldn't be without him!

[lucyellensmum]

maybe your children get their fear of dogs from your dislike? I have a friend who is frightened of dogs and it has passed on to her children. Of course, i agree that dogs don't suit everyone.

Gobbo - your comment is a little thoughtless. Er. No????? If you had thought it through you would have realised that not many children are going to be frightened of a little puppy that will grow with the family as in antiflos post. Er. Not so dismissive...eh.

Of course if the parents don't LIKE dogs then that certainly isnt the answer. Dogs are a lifetime commitment of up to 17 years but can bring so much to a family.

[lucyellensmum]

MrsGumby - rumpus at the vets, that could be a horror story for some!! Have you read slinky malinki? We love scarface claw - my dd pulls snarly cat faces at every cat she sees now

[Blu]

DS is terrified of dogs, including tiny meek puppies.
I have no idea why, I quite like dogs and am not afraid.
DS even says he likes dogs - but not near him. I think the unpredictability is a problem. i wish that just occasionally the well-meaning nice dog owners ion the park would, istead of shouting re-assuring comments - 'he's only being freindly' etc - as thier dog bounds all over us and tries to lick and jump up, would demonstrate that the animal is subject to some control. if they would shout 'sit' or 'come' and the animal obeyed, DS would gain more confidence.

[lucyellensmum]

i agree with you Blu about control, my DD loves dogs to pieces but is unsure if a strange dog comes bounding over. Usually if there is a bound in their step you can be pretty sure they are not on a hunting mission but often have had heart in mouth. I always kept my dog on a lead around children but he was a huge dog that everyone would have hated (especially on MN it seems) having near their kiddies. My dog was a good boy though and would sit and wait for me to leash him even from a distance, oh i miss him . Thats one thing to remember, there are very few bad dogs, but lots of bad owners, personally i think you cannot control your dog then you shouldnt have it.

[MuffinMclay]

I was petrified of dogs as a child. I think it is wonderful that you're trying to help them with it whilst they are young. My parents didn't, and were terrified themselves, and it became a bigger and bigger deal for me as I got older.

I only overcame my fear (at the age of 21 ) when dh (dp then) introduced me to his family's dog - a very old, very gentle collie. It was the first time I'd spent any time with a dog, or been alone in a room with one, and I had a sort of 'lightbulb' moment and realised that she wasn't going to bite me. It all got better after that. Shortly afterwards MIL got a very bouncy puppy and I wasn't frightened at all anymore.

I've had dogs of my own (very bouncy springers) for 5 years now, something I could never have imagined when younger.

[MrsGumby]

Lucyellensmum...we too LOVE Scarface Claw - the best story in the series. All Lynley Dodd's tales are so wonderful to read out loud. Love 'em.

[hermykne]

lucyellensmum
no i dont dislike dogs, quite keen on them once we have a bigger garden as a form of security. dh had a lovely german shepard unti he died prior to the kids. so my dislike of them is what i feel is a restrictive hold they put on you - going away for a night, or hols or care and maintenance etc. i am not ready for any of that with 2 small kids! so i dont know if i'll ever have a dog.

kids definitely got a fright as babies in my mother s house. and that startled them.

sure dd cried when pippin was over on cbeebies aged 2!! had to buy the video.

[auntiflo]

MuffinMcClay, are you not one of Hairy McClary's friends?!

[lucyellensmum]

hermynke, well i can take that on board, i would love to get another dog but for the same reasons you say i wont for the time being, until we can afford a bigger house . Maybe ask at your local vets if they have a puppy play group that you could take your little ones too, although there can be some big boystrous pups there. Its difficult though, although better to be wary than complacent