Tale telling

[MerryMarigold]

When is tale telling justified and when is it not?

It's personally something I don't like and don't encourage in my children. Obviously if someone has really hurt you, but the usual: he took my toy, he called me a name, he finished all the cereal etc. etc. I don't like (in particular in a whiney voice). I teach my kids to sort it out nicely and if it is not working eg. you have asked for something back a few times, then you can come and find me.

We are involved with some other children (2 other families) with sharing childcare every other Saturday so that the parents can get some time off. These other 2 families seem to have kids that constantly tell tales. The parents seem to always get involved when it's in their house and it can lead to lots of trouble (imho). When it is here the tale telling is a lot less (also they are not my kids so won't come running to me for everything) and things seem to run a lot more smoothly.

I am not sure what tale telling is reasonable (eg. physical violence/ damage to property) and needs adult intervention and what should be dealt with by kids themselves. I'd like to speak to my friends about it, but need some words of wisdom too. The kids range from 7 (going on 8) to 11.

[MerryMarigold]

Reason I do need to speak to them as my kids don't want to go anymore and I think this is a lot to do with it, as they are fine to have the kids over when it's in our house.