2 year old has bitten at nursery

[Whitewine55]

I picked my DD up at nursery last week and was told that she had been pushing others. Now she has bitten another child, thankfully not badly. The nursery said they were playing roughly and they don't know why she did it. I wasn't given an incident report, just told me at pick up time with the rest of the staff looking on and looking awkward. Feeling very upset about this and dreading her next day at nursery. Feel embarrassed and so anxious about the chance of it happening again. Anyone have any experience of this at nursery and how best to deal with it? Thanks.

[User24689]

Ah OP, it is a horrible feeling but quite normal toddler behaviour and I wouldn't worry. Some children go through phases of biting but in others it can be a one-off. I had the same experience as you when my DD was about 18 months old and she never did it it again ( she's now 2). Apparently my DD was very frustrated at the time as anther boy had been repeatedly taking her comforter from her and before the staff could get there that time, she bit the hand that he was holding it with! When they don't have the language quite yet, i suppose it is the ultimate way of expressing their frustration.

I would ask the staff how they deal with the behaviour to make sure that she is getting a consistent message at home (or out and about at toddler groups etc) and at nursery.

[TeaTeaTea]

Give you my full sympathies. My DS has 'nearly' bitten twice (think he's got as far as mouth round an arm), first time he was around 14months. I nearly cried! But nursery were fantastic, as upthewolves has said it's normal toddler behaviour, many children do it. Looking back both times DS has done it he's had bad teething pain. He's also very affectionate so sometimes does it when giving a big squeezy hug, like he can't contain his excitement so bites, lol!
Nursery do discipline and apparently on the worse occasion did take him out of the room immediately to show that it was wrong which I'm all for. He hasn't done it in a while. If he goes to do it at home we quickly say 'gentle!' and he'll stop and then hug gently instead.

[Whitewine55]

Thank you both. I need to try and remember that lots of toddlers do it. Hopefully she won't do it again. She is able to tell me who was involved and I think that makes it worse tbh! I just bought the 'teeth are not for biting book' so hoping that may help. She seems to be biting her teddy at home so may ask nursery to let her keep that with her too (it's normally put in her bag). Nursery removed her from the situation and then made her apologise. I think she gets carried away when she is excited too and can't express herself well as yet.

[spiderlight]

They all do it - or nearly all! I remember picking DS up one day and being told that another boy had bitten him, and then the following day he went in and bit a completely different child! I was mortified but the nursery were fab, didn't make a big deal of it, just removed him from the situation and explained to him that it wasn't on and it hurt and upset people, and he never did it again. I think he'd just discovered that biting people was a thing and was just experimenting to see what happened. I know what you mean about how knowing who it was makes it worse - the nursery worker wouldn't tell me who he'd bitten but then he came out and immediately declared 'I bited Beth!' (who was his best friend at the time, just to make it worse again! ).

[PhoebeBee]

I'm the mother of a bitten child!

Picked my daughter up from nursery one day and the staff told me she hadn't been herself all afternoon and they'd given her calpol.

While getting her ready for bed that night, I noticed the bite (full imprints of teeth visible) marks in her arm.

I informed the nursey what had happened and that this may have explained her being off colour.

Never gave it another thought, relived it wasn't dd doing the biting!

It's a stage! They all do it! Don't be embarrassed!

[User24689]

Sounds like a good response from nursery OP and good idea getting the book.

TeaTeaTea's suggestion of teething is a good one especially if she's biting her teddy, are there any teeth coming through?

Just something I thought worth mentioning - I have a friend whose toddler went through a bad biting phase (not for a moment suggesting this is what you're in for!) And she found that not mentioning it was the best response. Apparently if she mentioned biting out of the immediate context e.g. she was talking to her friend about it while her DC was in the room, her DC would go off and immediately bite again - almost like the reminder of the behaviour gave her the urge to repeat it. I just thought I'd mention that in case you find it happens again because the book would really not have worked for this friend.

[Liskee]

I have a 2.5 year old who has both been bitten and is a biter. Some of them do it and some of them don't. Some of them do it once and some are repeat offenders. Nurseries are well used to it and truthfully, any awkwardness you feel will be entirely on your part. They are well used to it!! I think the book is a great idea as it reinforces biting isn't nice and as long as you keep up that message all will be well.

[Jezzifishie]

What others have said :) I picked DD up from nursery today and had to sign the accident book because she was bitten on her back. It's a phase, I know which toddler it was and I'm certainly not going to say anything to their parents - for all I know, it could be DD biting tomorrow!