Two year old hitting/pinching one parent

[EsmesBees]

My DD has just turned two. She has recently started hitting/kicking/pinching DH. And just him, not me, or her grandparents or anyone at nursery. We are not sure what's causing it, but the two big changes recently are that I'm 32 wks pregnant, and DH has been spending less one-on-one time with her as he's training for a sporting event and doing lots of DIY at weekends.

She is generally a content, easy going child, who has good speech and generally understands and follows rules. It's really upsetting DH as we've always taken a 50/50 approach to parenting and they've always adored each other.

Our tactic so far (which has not worked at all) is to tell her 'no' firmly, explain that it hurts daddy and offer an alternative instead (hug daddy etc.) And if she continues for DH to remove himself from the situation (which I think is what she wants as I'll then have to take over bedtime or whatever). She will say 'sorry' if you ask her to but I don't think she has any real understanding of what it means yet.

Sorry, that was longer than expected! Any advice really appreciated.

[forfucksakenet]

No advice but I'm hoping someone knowledgable comes along! My dc is nearly 19 months and has taken to hitting and biting everyone! It starts out of nowhere and is becoming a worry.

[LivininaBox]

I've been through a couple of hitting phases, the worst was when I was pregnant. Has it been prompted by you being physically unable to do things like pick her up, sit her on your lap? If so then you could try and think of alternatives, e.g. sitting next to you on the sofa for a cuddle.

When she hits, I would keep the response really low key and don't reward her by switching from DH to you. So say DH is doing bedtime story, she hits, he says calmly "no we don't hit", walks out room for 2 minutes. Then goes back and continues as normal.

I found that getting angry or upset made it worse. As did punishments.

[EsmesBees]

Thanks for the replies both. Lavinia that may be part of it, I can't lift her up like I used to and I'm struggling to get down on the floor to play with her. She's still getting lots of cuddles and time with me though. That's a good suggestion. I wonder if our current tactic is just giving the bad behaviour​ attention. Would you suggest walking away from her if DH is doing bed time alone, for example? I don't want her to feel abandoned.

[user1490981241]

Following this post. My 20 month old is exactly the same recently so i feel you hun! If he throws a tantrum and starts hitting he is told firmly bot to do it again and if he does he is put to his cot to calm down. Looking for alternatives though!

[LivininaBox]

Sorry, only just popped back. Yes I would just walk off personally, but if you feel that is too harsh for her, your DP could just turn away and do another task like putting her clothes away.