My 5yo has been awful today

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

Really awful. Went for a nice walk and took his new scooter, ended in screaming and crying because he couldn't do it. He didn't even really try he was just being lazy. All I've heard all day is 'I want'.

Made dinner, something he hadn't tried before and he didn't like it. Fair enough he won't like everything he tries so I had a back up. He then refused to eat the back and screamed and cried at the table. Told him to go upstairs until he calmed down. Came back down demanding his dinner but it was in the bin! Again, all I hear is 'I want'. I don't know what to do with him at the moment, he's getting really self centred and demanding. He always apologises and says he won't do it again but it doesn't mean anything.

What do you do with this behaviour? It's not every day (although the wanting stuff is), but a lot of nice data out end in tears.

Happy Mother's Day

[Lowdoorinthewal1]

Is he just 5 or nearly 6?

It does sound like he is struggling a bit. Does he know what he will and won't be getting? Perhaps make him a chart so it's absolutely clear what he will be getting. We went through a phase where DS would demand all sorts in any shop we went in- so we told him he could choose something for £2 in a specific shop on a Sunday and that was IT. After a couple of weeks he got the message and stopped asking for stuff any other time.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

What sort of demands is he making?

Is he overtired? I'm assuming he's in Reception or Y1 and they do get very tired towards the end of term. Is he going to bed early enough?

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

He was 5 last week, in reception. He'd never been a great sleeper but we've been working hard on it for the last month and seen a big improvement. He does still seem tired a lot though. He can't walk anyway without whining, everything's a battle.

He demands everything - he seems to think he should get a treat every day! For example there an ice cream van outside school, he's allowed to choose one day a week for an ice cream. We've been consistent with that rule since September but we still get moaning and crying every day that he doesn't have one.

I wonder if I expect too much sometimes. He sees other kids being met from school every day with a bag of haribo and I'm the bad guy. Same when we're out - see kids climbing things they shouldn't or touching things they shouldn't and when I say no I'm the bad guy again.
He goes to bed between 7 & 7.15, wakes about 6.20 so a little less than I'd like but not awful - until recently he was waking 2-3 times a night too.

[Angryangryyoungwoman]

I know this probably sounds random, but have you thought of threadworms? My friends son was like this recently and that is what it was

[NassauBeach]

Sounds exactly like my 5yo ds. Not much to add but you have my sympathies.

I've just recently had to start being stricter, pull him up on the behaviour, he starts saying things like "you're never kind" or "you're always mean to me" when I don't give him whatever he wants; biscuit, toy, magazine etc.

I'm hoping if I continue to call out the bad attitude and never give in to it... he will eventually give it up.
Easier said than done though!

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

I have no idea about threadworms but I'll look it up!
nassau I get told I'm not being kind, or I'm being rude too. Usually when I say no to something 🙄 I'm hoping it'll pass, I know he isn't like this at school. He's just really mardy all the time.

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

Just thought that mardy isn't a widely known word! Sulky, grumpy, cries over nothing!

[NassauBeach]

Yep! That's whinging in our house! We get a lot of it. It's sometimes like living with a hormonal teenager- the moods, the answering back, the wants... his 2 yo sister is so much more reasonable already!!!

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

I'm glad it's not just me at least, well and truly had enough today. I started working from home when DS started school but seriously considering going back out to work. I thought I'd enjoy the extra time together but I really don't - post school is one long moan until bedtime and I'm finding myself wishing the time away until bedtime.

[LostInMess]

He's still little and he's tired. We've been suffering felt End-Of-Term-itis for my 3 primary school aged DC for a good two weeks now (it seems to have spread to DC4 too!). Everything provokes mass blubbing, they're tired and difficult to manage.
50% of my 5-year-old's conversation to me at the minute is 'You're being annoying'. Whatever am doing.

Deep breaths, early nights.....it will pass. But don't let stuff pass if he needs
To be pulled up on it - but this too will pass.

Not much fun, though, is it??

[CauliflowerSqueeze]

Maybe tell him there's no more ice cream from the van. With the van there and 5 year olds' memories of when they last had one, and the long tiring day at school - it's just a tantrum waiting to happen.

Instead of saying what he might get and conditions attached, wait for him to ask for things nicely and then reward that

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

Thanks lost it's easy to forget how tiny he is when he's got the attitude of a teenager.

[LostInMess]

I know. I really need to take my own advice - the words 'And you're annoying me' might just have passed my lips several times this week...!

It's bloody hard when you're doing so much for them and whatever you're doing is wrong - my 9 year old is even worse. I have suddenly overcome my slight suspicion of holiday clubs ( I work term time only so Holidays are our time....) as I rather feel we're better off apart at the mo.

But had his birthday party yesterday and it was a real eye opener as so many children spent at least 30 mins in tears....

Hang on in there - and do come and moan ;and please may we moan back?!)

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

I'd be happy to having a moaning buddy!
He absolutely wouldn't accept that the ice cream had run out. There's always a queue of about 50 kids and he'd see them getting them. He's very bright, it's impossible to pull the wool over his eyes. To be honest I don't really want to go down the road of saying things like that, I want him to just know that he can't always have what he wants.

I don't really give conditions I don't think - I don't offer a treat as a reward really. He always asks nicely and if I rewarded that it would be a daily toy/ice cream/kinder egg. It's not the failure to ask nicely that's the problem it's the tantrum when I say no!

[Katastrophe13]

Hi. Just to say I am currently going through the same ordeal with my 5yo in reception. Am hoping it is just end of term tiredness and not threadworms!! He threw a tantrum so big at the weekend when I didn't buy him a balloon on a string that he was actually frothing at the mouth. Was AWFUL he was screaming and hitting DH. Very embarrassing in public. He just can't control himself when he's tired. I can't wait for holidays so we can all have a break 😓

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

Oh kat that sounds just like us, it's so frustrating. I feel awful for being so negative about him but I'm just fed up of it all.

[Ownerofalittlechimp]

it's awful isn't it, in the nicest possible way I'm glad to have found this thread as nice to know I'm not alone. My ds is exactly the same, 5 in June but his behaviour lately is awful, mainly directed at me. Feel like I'm constantly saying no, pulling him up on bad behaviour & just an all around bad guy to him. Term not over till the end of next week & to add to the chaos dc2's arrival is imminent. Have been trying to spend quality time with him but he seems to hate all my suggestions, nothing is right & i feel guilty for feeling fed up of it.

I know it's not forever & will pass but it's such hard work atm

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

It does give me a bit of comfort to know it's not just Ds. He's been trying hard today and asking if he's being good as I made it clear I wasn't impressed yesterday! In know he won't be able to keep it up but it makes me think he does at least realise he's been silly.

[ShelaghTurner]

Hello yes, meet my 5yo She's been a little beggar the last couple of weeks - bolshy and argumentative and whingey, not my usual little ray of sunshine at all. Roll on Easter!

[Misty9]

I feel your pain! 5.5yo ds is also reception year and definitely has end-of-term-itis. I always say that term goes on for one week too long and it's definitely the case this time! I decided to take him out for tea tonight, just us two, as we've not been getting on. He was a delight. Until we got home. A bit of sibling rivalry and a bit of needing comfort and reassurance but not knowing how to ask in my ds's case. They're still little - but hard to remember that when behaving like a stroppy teenager!

Roll on the holidays...I think

[thisagain]

My 6 year old DS specialises in being awkward and annoying. Saying things just to annoy his older sisters or having to be too close to them or in the way of what they are doing. Contradicting things I say and making out I said things wrong. It is driving me mad. He's v ready to apologise but then does something annoying again minutes later.

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

Oh god, this is normal then? Oh well he can leave home in 13 years 🙄 You've actually all cheered me up tbh, I'm struggling with this phase and at least I'm reassured it's not my awful parenting or devil child!

[Didiplanthis]

So glad I found this thread - Will it make you feel better to know I have two of them ? - just turned five year old twin boys exactly the same except mine cry over everything especially anything involving 'No'. And they argue with each other over every single tiny thing and every minute of the bloody day but seem to need to be with each other all the time too... and breathe......

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

Oh my goodness two of them

[ShelaghTurner]

That's the bit I really don't understand! My 5yo and 9yo fight constantly. But tell them to keep away from each other and they just can't. I keep meaning to check their pockets for the magnets that seem to be pulling them together. To me it's simple - someone pisses you off, you leave them the hell alone. That doesn't seem to work for kids.