Is this normal toddler behaviour?

[Sparrowlegs248]

Husband and I disagree.

Ds is 20 months old. This evening we had been out and had dinner, got home around 6. This is unusual. Ds wanted a drink, was given water in a sippy cup. Proceeds towards living room with it. Food/drinks not allowed in there, so is told to have a drink, put drink down then go in living room. He stands pulling at the door clutching cup. Wailing. Wails when cup taken away, wails when not allowed in living room with cup.

Normal toddler behaviour or not?

[Wishiwasmoiradingle2017]

Prob normal up to teens!!
No dc like not taking food /drinks into rooms they aren't allowed.
He is a toddler!!
Totally normal.

[Porpoiselife]

Sounds like it's started be firm though and stick to your guns otherwise it will continue for a very long time!

Best way is to totally ignore a tantrum and then talk to them again once they are done. You'll probably only get a couple weeks of it until he catches on that it doesn't work. Good luck!

[Sparrowlegs248]

Thanks. Husband was,adamant it's not 'normal' behaviour. It was over in minutes. Husband got pissed off, picked him up, put him down, he fell over. Stayed in a mood (husband) for a good half hour or more. We are selected but still living together making it hard for me to say anything without a row.

[Crunchyside]

Normal obviously

Why can't he have his sippy cup in the living room? Aren't they usually fairly spill-proof... Does he drink juice or water? I can't see of any reason why a child wouldn't be allowed to drink water in the living room, isn't this just pointlessly strict? I think "pick your battles" is a mantra all parents of toddlers should live by, makes life a lot easier when you avoid conflict over insignificant things.

[Wishiwasmoiradingle2017]

Sounds like you have 2 toddlers op!!

[polkadotdelight]

Completely normal. No cup in the living room wouldn't work in our house but each to their own and all that.

[Sparrowlegs248]

He has a free flow sippy cup and likes to sprinkle whatever is in it, all over the place. He also is very clumsy and trips over a lot so I tend to have him sit down with food and drink. He split his lip and gum at grandparents by faceplanting with sippy cup in his mouth.

We have a large dining room.off the kitchen which has the dining table plus sofa and armchairs, this is where we, and he, eats and drinks. Adults are allowed drinks in the front room.......

[Sparrowlegs248]

Indeed moiradingle

[AirandMungBeans]

Yes very normal, I work with this age group and deal with this type of reaction to things many, many times a day!

[WeAreStars]

Completely 100% normal. Toddlers are not known for being rational and can react dramatically to things that seem really insignificant to us. This is going to be a learning curve for your husband I think.

[bialystockandbloom]

Of course it's normal, he's a toddler. Good luck to your DH

[bialystockandbloom]

Sorry just seen he's stbxh. Sounds difficult situation. Sulky man child - leave him to it!

[Blazedandconfused]

I can't remember a time where my life wasn't like walking in a tight rope. So much effort to keep the small people happy, the slightest wobble and all hell can kick off.

God, I love and hate toddlers.

[Sandsnake]

Very, very normal. Anyone who sulks at a toddler, however, is not.

[Ohyesiam]

Normal for your toddler. Bit rubbish for a husband.

But sarcasm aside, yes, it's really normal behaviour for a toddler.

[Jemimapiddleduck]

Woah

This is totally normal.

Your husband sounds completely unreasonable - you should both do some parenting courses so he can see what is normal and what isn't. Otherwise you might have many more battles on your hand (with your husband not your son)

[Jemimapiddleduck]

Sorry I didn't realise "selected" was a typo.

You will be so much happier when he is gone!

[SueGeneris]

Totally normal. It's a stage they have to go through. It wouldn't even merit a mention in our house. Toddlers are little bundles of will to do things, whether those things are allowed or not.

[Teds77]

I told my nearly five year old not to take her biscuit into the living room yesterday. She politely agreed and I was shocked that this was her reaction. So by my calculation you have around three years of reinforcement to do before your children actually behaves reasonably .

So yep, totally normal toddler behaviour!

[SueGeneris]

On a separate note is there some way of 'educating' your stbx on normal child behaviour? It's going to make things hard for your DS if he's like this.

[Imstickingwiththisone]

Wow he has got to 20 months before you've encountered this, you've done well!!

Seriously I hope that you don't have to live with your husband soon as that is a shitty atmosphere to create over something so small. I also hope he gains some tolerance as your son will presumably be spending time with him alone once you no longer live together, and I wouldn't want that shitty atmosphere following my son around.

[TheMysteriousJackelope]

Totally normal, especially at 6.00 p.m. when he may be getting tired. You're lucky you didn't have a full blown tantrum.

I think there was a thread on here about things toddlers have been known to cry or tantrum about. It included things such as broken biscuits - because obviously they will now taste 'wrong', buttered toast - then crying at the toast being buttered because.....God knows, having to wear socks but on taking socks off crying because feet are cold, toast or some other food being the 'wrong' shape.

It is worse if they are tired, hungry, thirsty, coming down with something or teething. That is about 70% of a toddler's normal state so yes, crying over not being allowed to drink in a particular room is normal.

[LillyBugg]

What exactly did your husband think was not normal about that situation? Honestly I just don't understand, even people without children have a fairly basic understanding of how toddlers behave don't they?

[Sparrowlegs248]

Thank you all for reinforcing my thoughts. Husband is unreasonable generally these days, and his 'example' to the boys is one of the reasons he's stbx.

I had long since suspected that he thought ds1 was naughty, when he really really isn't. He's a really lovely boy, and I manage to avoid tantrums all the time with abut of distraction. Obviously I'm not always able to now with Ds2 on the scene. I was bf ds2 as this one playedout so wasn't really in a position to stop it. Wouldn't have been a problem if I was on my own but H was here and made it worse.

He doesn't do much with ds so isn't used to it, and memorably told me that he couldn't spend all his time 'distracting' ds (why not, it's what I do most days.....) he should just learn what no means.

[Imstickingwiththisone]

Oh OP he's such an arsehole, I hope you can move on soon it must be so hard. Is there anyone who can get him to lighten up? His attitude won't improve the children's behaviours and will in fact just make them dislike spending time with him when they get older.