Does anyone recognise this grumpy behaviour?

[Victoria2002]

DS 4.5yrs can be very grumpy and I really feel I can't understand it or find a way to cheer him up.

He's always had a kinda negative disposition, learned to say "no" months & months before he said ever said "yes" and used to bite any toddlers who encroached in his space.
Sometimes he wakes up in, or somehow gets into a bad mood and seems to get stuck like that all day. I tried obvious things like taking about his feelings, distracting him, trying to cheer him up, suggesting he goes to his bed/bedroom "for some peace" until he's able to be more kind...I try to be accepting of his feelings but when he's rude and grumpy to everything I say and mean to his little brother I find his behaviour unacceptable.
If he's sad/disappointed he strongly denies he's sad and gets really cross and starts thumping me and shouting.
I feel like understanding this better is slipping through my fingers & wonder if there's a diagnosis or something in his diet or sleep pattern or something that causes this. I also just can't find the right way to deal with it.

[coco1983]

That sounds really tough. If you are thinking there might be a medical problem underlying it, then I think the first thing to do would be to keep a diary for a few weeks. Write down everything he has eaten, how he has slept what he has done, and what his moods were. It might help in establishing whether there is any pattern to his behaviour. Also note when he is happy or agreeable so that you can start seeing what things might help him.

[minipie]

DD age 4 can be like this. In her case it is strongly linked to tiredness. Does he sleep well?

[BertieBotts]

I think this is just what a lot of four year olds are like. I found it quite miserable. It improved after five.

[Victoria2002]

Thanks for the replies, I think he sleeps well but am in the process of arranging things so he can have his own room (currently sharing).

[LilaAndLenuccia]

this is my DS1 who's 4.6yo. He's a miserable, shouty, rude, grumpy pain in the arse at the moment.