How to handle tantrums

[LlandudnoLlandudno]

I am a FTM with an almost 13mo DS. He has just started having minor tantrums if he doesn't get his own way (for example if I stop him from trying to damage the TV by hitting it with a toy). All completely normal for his age I know and at this point it's just about 30 seconds of angry crying then he calms down.

I'm just wondering how you are supposed to respond to tantrums? At the moment I am staying completely calm and just quietly but firmly telling him why I am not letting him get his own way and that I will not give in to tantrums. Is this correct? I don't think he understands what I am saying at the moment but he does know my firm voice and what it means.

Just don't want to handle them wrong now and for things to be worse when he is 2-3 and capable of very epic tantrums!

[Summerdays2014]

Good question! No advice, but my 13 month old is the same. i thought 1 was too young for tantrums, but I guess not... I was browsing Amazon for books about toddlers and behaviour earlier!

[NuffSaidSam]

That's about right.

Stay calm. Don't over explain, a simple 'No' or 'No, thank you' will do in the moment. Save any extra explanations for when he has calmed down. He's not listening to you during the tantrum and by giving lengthy explanations about tantrums and why he shouldn't do it etc. is just giving attention to his undesirable behaviour. Don't engage.

As they get older and the tantrums get worse, you may need to move him somewhere safe if he is hitting out at you/himself/the furniture. Again, stay calm, don't engage, just move him.

When he has calmed down, cuddles and explanations.

Never, ever, ever give in to a tantrum.

Pick you battles though, if you can easily avoid a tantrum then do. If he wants to go to bed in wellies or eat his yoghurt with a fork or take a potato to school....just let him!! Save the tantrums for the important stuff.

[LlandudnoLlandudno]

Thanks nuff will keep explanations for when he has calmed down :) Will also bear in mind what is actually important.

[snoopyokay]

DD is 11 months and already started the tantrums! i just ignore, distract and then cuddle! Think she is going to be a 'handful' haha!