(4 years old) DS's speech development and his behaviour mostly equal to that of some other 2.5 years old children. I've been researching for all possible reasons and rule out of them one by one if not matching. So far, we are 100% sure he's not ASD or autistic. I sort of suspect he might be ADHD and might also have auditory processing disorder.
DH did not believe that DS is really behind of his peers, until he saw some other 2.5-4 years old children. He started talking to friends that how hard for parents to see their child far behind in terms of behaviour and maturity.
When I talk about behind, meaning the way he behaves really not like a normal 4 years old. He can't rarely engage in conversation and he still loves to run/jump up and down like without a brain. The contents of his talk are also very 2 years old play and no way to reach the logical and consistent level of his peers.
But he's not a typical child. He's a dreamer. He doesn't like to play toys in their conventional way and he always invents his own way to have fun with them. He plays really well on his own as he can with no exception always keep himself busy and entertained. 95% time, he's a very happy kid. He doesn't like to follow rules, but he has a soft heart and he likes to make friends but not all the kids want to take him as friend due to his speech delay. The comments we got from other people outside the family are mostly about "He's such a good boy (does what you tell him to do)" "He's always very well behaved.". Certainly, not always, but in general he's very easy going.
We are still trying to find ways to help him (like the speech therapy and probably will try some therapy aiming at APD too). But we just aren't sure if he will carry on to be behind or ever progress to a reasonable level of maturity. We've heard some teacher/specialist implied "Children like this (delayed development) might always have some level of difficulty in their whole life" and "always still need some extra support (learning difficulty)."
I've been begging DH to have a second child. DH today said he's not sure if my DS would ever be "normal" or his "wishful" thinking that this is just a phase could be true.
Sorry for my long whining words here. Could any of you could provide some reassurance with your experience that if no major reason is found, development delay could be just a phase. Or they will never be shaken off and even block their progress altogether one day...
Feeling really sad for DS...
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Some reassurance please? - 4 yrs old, development delay, no major cause found
2017morework · 29/01/2017 20:35
Do you only want positive stories in the sense of 'they all catch up in the end'? Or do you want positive stories in the sense of 'yes my child was also behind, will always behind, but it's not as bad as you think'? Once you've answered I'll post 
I have a DD too, she's 19 months and I found it has helped DS a lot, he's started playing with her and showing her how to do stuff, very sweet. It was the best thing that we could have done for him I think, it's helped him share and be less self-centred. It seems like you're focusing on academic achievements but how is your DS at practical things like feeding and dressing himself. Having a second child with only 2.5 years apart was difficult at the start but now that DS is more capable it helps. Oh and DS doesn't really like scary things either, he hates dinosaurs, pirates and skeletons and much prefers to watch peppa pig with his sister. He also loves sparkles and jewels as much as his more traditional "boys" games 
And my friends DS (also 4) goes to dancing while his female cousin does rugby!
lougle, . I know I'm a bit fooling myself. Wishfully thinking really hard.
Of course, I'd appreciate your "not as bad" experience of coping. I'm just terribly worried for DS and how much this would undermine his life quality and personal achievement. It makes a parent feel sad to see the little one struggles and underachieve because no one could help...
TheSecondOfHerName, Thank you! This is certainly a positive story giving me some hope one day he could catch up. DH is normally not that pessimistic, but yesterday he said he doesn't need DS to be smart or above average, he just hopes he could grow up to be a "normal" child.
You must have given your DD fantastic support over years. I can imagine the hard work and time you've put in. Your DD must have also worked really hard herself. It's not easy to shake off the labels and still achieve by putting aside any hurtful feelings some people might give to you. Really happy for you! 
Ok, just checking
DD1 was mixed delay at 4. She was about 2.5 year old level for social skills, 3 year old level for expressive and receptive language, probably 2.5 year level for gross motor and five motor skills. No sense of danger. Very impulsive. Minimal attention span - no more than 30 seconds really (as assessed by an Ed Psych). She did know all her basic colours and some higher level colours such as purple, silver, etc. She was very 'spiky' in her profile - Some areas were more developed than others. She had also developed quite sophisticated coping mechanisms for her expressive language delay. She would describe the function of the thing she couldn't name. So she would say 'It pink and we go weeee' when she wanted to use the slide. Or 'me want bowl eat' for 'I'm hungry' or 'I want chicken with handle' for satay chicken....really quite clever.
DD1 was a very late 'pick up' - her delays were only flagged at 2y 9 months, when she immediately got 1:1 at preschool. She sadly started falling over soon after and we were fast tracked to hospital where she was finally diagnosed with epilepsy, then a brain malformation.
Now, 8 years on, DD1 is 11. She has always gone to Special School. She walks and talks. She has outgrown her epilepsy. She has moderate learning difficulties. She can read some basic words, up to ORT level 5 ish. Very basic maths.
DD1 seems to always operate at half her chronological age. So right now about 5 years old. She still has very little sense of danger and very little impulse control, which makes her extremely vulnerable.
This will be the thing that is most disabling as she grows - she can't make sensible decisions. She would still run into a stream of traffic if she saw a pretty stone in the road. But she can tell you that cars are dangerous. She can't apply the two.
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