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Behaviour/development

Parenting without punishment?

1 reply

Mindtrope · 15/01/2017 17:49

Is this something you do/don't?

Works for us. Anyone else on board?

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corythatwas · 15/01/2017 20:38

What I found was that a middle way worked well for us: punishing very rarely, but where it seemed the only thing that would work.

Also that it is sometimes a question of wording: one person's punishment is another person's natural consequences and a third person's consideration for others. If dd hit another child at playgroup I would take her home: you could call any one of those three things; what mattered was that she learnt that I could put a stop to her behaviour and that I intended to do so. Sometimes it matters less what you call it but more what you actually do.

Also that for very sensitive children sanctions according to a set tariff can actually be the kindest way to change their behaviour because it does not involve an appeal to their emotions which they may find overwhelming. I found this with my youngest, particularly as he approached puberty.

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