9year old DD low self-esteem

[SarfEast1cated]

Please help. My DD 9yrs has always been quite sensitive, but has recently been quite moody and stompy. I can put this down to hormones as lots of her friends are like this at the moment. What does really worry me is that she has started saying that she hates herself and that she is rubbish. I have spoken to her about it and she is not repeating what others have said to her, but she has decided this herself. We used to regularly have a lot of crying and sadness before bed time which a lot of her friends do too, but this is unnerving me. Any advice?

[pklme]

Lots of self care together, so make a regular date to do your own manicures etc. Little hand massages.

She needs a bit of relaxation and stress management, and a bit of self esteem building. Doing yoga together, doing each other's hair, going out to choose a skin care set etc.

[FrostyLeaves]

My son seems similar right now. Mostly I'm trying to listen and make time to let him decompress.

Sometimes I will challenge the negative comments that I know aren't even true and ask for his evidence .

He often rounds it off by saying he's sorry and far too old at 11 to be so over sensitive. To which I replied this week that he is sensitive which is a good trait too and as he gets older he will manage it better and it may even become his "superpower"!

They do seem to really start to pick up that they are not winning or "good enough" at stuff. I had another of mine give up on a beloved sports team at this stage.

Just finding stuff to enjoy that incorporates a bit of fresh air and exercise can blow a lot of negativity away. A good friend round to play helps too of course.

[FrostyLeaves]

I found a book The Optimistic Child by a Dr Seligman very helpful. Although it was a bit of a dry read it shows how to talk through the negativity and give the child themselves the thinking tools.

I should get it off my bookshelf this weekend!