Please help me to understand why my 3 year old WONT SLEEP!

[ricecrispies16]

My daughter is 3 in a couple of weeks, always been a very good sleeper, happy to go to sleep on her own in her bed after a few stories and a kiss goodnight.

However, we've recently had a lot of upheaval and change (new baby, house move, her dads moved in with his gf so she sleeps there now at contact) and she is an nightmare to get to bed and then wakes intermittently through the night screaming and crying for me.

Going to bed she wants me to sit and stroke her hair, one more story, another wee, another drink, she's too hot, she feels sick - all the usual diversions.

I've tried so many different approaches - I tried being stern, this just made her get very upset and I lost all control of the situation rapidly. Ive tried sitting by the door which worked for a 2 nights but she still starts to do pretend crying and wailing because she doesn't want to go to bed.

She's waking in the night and crying and screaming for me to go to her and then refusing to get back in her bed, saying she wants to come in my bed. I have also woke to find she has crept into my bed in the night. It's not something I want to encourage, we will both sleep better in our own beds.

I have a 4 month old going through the sleep regression so she is also waking me up at night. I'm just so tired. Absolutely dreading bed times, especially when dp works late, I have no idea how I'll do it.

My new idea is to buy an air bed, go "to bed" when she does in her room, (sneak out after) but sleep there all night so that when she wakes I can reassure her that she's not alone and mummy is sleeping next to her. In the hope that after a few nights she will stop waking in the night and we might have passed this phase and I'll be able to sleep in my own bed again.

I don't know what to do. Any suggestions or words of wisdom?

[ricecrispies16]

Forgot to add - she won't let me turn off the lights and screams like a banshee if I shut the door.