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2 year old grumpy and rude to all

(5 Posts)
RedLemonade Fri 11-Nov-16 10:54:23

The reasons are fairly clear. She's two (and a half), and got a new sister 3 months ago. But I don't know how best to deal with this.

Basically she is grumpy and hostile with nearly everyone we meet. Mostly fine with DH and me and her minder, but everyone else from her granny to her cousin (whom she loves and always ends up having a laugh with) to nice old ladies saying hello on the street get a thunder face and "NO! GO AWAY!"^
Up to now I've been quietly apologising and explaining to said people but after some comments from SIL (but of course) I wonder should I be taking her to task more over this. My instinct is not to because she's only little and probably feeling insecure. But maybe I'm being too soft?

We did have some chats over the last few days about not hurting people's feelings and that if she feels shy or cross she doesn't have to talk to anyone and I'll do all the talking. But no change thus far.

Is it okay to carry on like this or should I be making more of a point at the time when she's rude?

BathshebaDarkstone Fri 11-Nov-16 10:57:06

She's 2! Most adults understand. flowers

RedLemonade Fri 11-Nov-16 11:10:50

Thank you! That's what I need to hear. Sleep deprived at present so can't be objectivegrin.

Bubbinsmakesthree Fri 11-Nov-16 14:15:12

Yeah she's probably having a bit of a phase, particularly with the new baby. And she's 2, it's what 2 year olds do.

I know understanding develops at different speeds but my 2.5yo definitely wouldn't take in a discussion about behaviour which isn't at the time the behaviour is taking place. If I want to change his behaviour I intervene when he's doing it, not talk about it later.

For something like shouting angrily at other people, I'd be doing a 'gentle but firm disapproving voice', modelling expected behaviour, OTT praise of expected behaviour. So...

"DD, that is not a nice way to talk to your granny. Let's say a nice hello - Hello Granny!" If she copies - "Aww DD! that is SO nice! What a lovely way to greet your granny!". And keep doing it consistently. I tend to treat toddlers a bit like training a dog grin

TripTrappedNow Fri 11-Nov-16 14:20:57

I would not explain it as being due to her new sibling - sibling is not going back!

Have you tried emphasising all her 'big girl' abilities and aligning her a bit with all the non-baby folk? Also on the q t getting friends and rellies to acknowledge her a good bit more than the snuggly baby.

Most of us older siblings settle down when we get over the shock smile

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