I'm new here so please feel free to repost elsewhere.
I'm 50 and have 3 adult children and 1 child (10 yo) and one grandchild, but it's my only daughter that I'm having major problems with.
I look after my grandson all weekend, every weekend as she works & runs a business. I also have him on a weekday overnight so that she can work a late night, then she stays at her boyfriend's house & picks up the GS in the morning for school. This was supposed to be a temporary arrangement as my GS doesn't see his father due to drug issues & he used to have him. This 'temporary' arrangement has been going on for about a year and I'm exhausted, I'm also bringing up my own child on my own and I have several health issues that I'm struggling with. I have mental health problems that leave me feeling quite isolated, so I found an evening class I would like to do, but the only one I want to do is on the evening I have my grandson overnight. When I told my daughter this, her response was to say that it's a shame it's on that evening, implying that it's my job to childmind her son, even though I'd asked a neighbour to have my son ( she can't have both of them). It's also true of activities for my son, he's given up Saturday morning football because it was a pain to always have to arrange it around my grandson.
I feel like I've spent my whole life bringing up kids: my responsibility is to my own son. I have no life, she does & it's really getting to me. Every time I bring up the subject she says she'll sort it but never does, then I feel guilty because my mother never helped me & I don't want to be like her. I feel taken for granted, especially as she now has a boyfriend & any social activities that happen are with the new boyfriend & his son. I know that might sound like I'm jealous ( I'm not, she was very needy with me before he came along, and it's a bit of a relief that he's picked up the slack a bit lol), but I just feel that I'm being taken for granted. I have my son all the time ( he can't see his father due to domestic violence issues) and I feel old and knackered and isolated. How do I tell her to sort it out without feeling guilty? I'm at my wits end and feeling more and more depressed.
Thanks for any input.
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Behaviour/development
Adult daughter problems - advice needed
13 replies
Toocleverbyhalf2 · 27/09/2016 15:44
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